I wonder if part of the problem is that if you're single at this age, you might have had your world blown up by a divorce that you still haven't financially recovered from ... whether you're male or female.
That can be part of it. But also, those who didn't make wise financial choices before divorce are more likely to be broke after (with the exception of SAHPs who, while making a risky decision to trust their mates, did so for a good reason). The bigger problem I see is people who just didn't plan ahead at all.
CMM was a good example - he made excellent money for most of his career, pretty close to what my ex made. But he and his wife spent it as he earned it. Big new house with a pool, BMWs, vacations, champagne tastes in furniture, food, wine etc. When his marriage broke up and his earning power decreased he was left with nothing. No retirement savings, no significant house equity etc. If he had been prudent, lived slightly below his means, made retirement saving a priority - as my ex and I did, although my ex was not as frugal as I - he might have left the marriage with significant housing equity or at least a reasonable chunk of retirement savings.
Now - it's true statistically that women's living status suffers more than men's after a divorce. And some custodial parents get really bum deals if their ex skips out on child support, for example. But even in those situations, I'd be looking to see if the person was at least thinking or trying to get ahead before retirement.
But at my age, facing retirement within a few years, it becomes terribly important. I don't want to subsidize some guy who thinks he can retire on his $800 a month Social Security check. Nor do I want to try to keep up with some guy who is spending his retirement savings like there's no tomorrow. Someone in the middle, who has enough means to support himself in retirement and can live within those means, matters more to me than the absolute amount of money or assets he has.
I know for some people now retirement seems like a pipe dream, and I do feel sorry for younger people. But I also know a LOT of boomers who have pissed away a ton of money with no thought for their futures. Maybe that's a big part of why I don't want to live with someone again - I don't need the stress of worrying about their finances. Mine are in hand. While CMM was buying leather couches and BMWs and filet mignon, I was shopping at Ross and buying furniture at the consignment shop and controlling the food budget and driving Hondas and building sweat equity with manual labor on our houses. Don't get me wrong - we took vacations with the kids, we had a nice house. But we also lived below our means, in large part due to my efforts.
