Detachment - Couple times found myself in the company of woman, seems like it’s helping getting sanity back Temporarily Then again emotional downfall.
Careful with this. You're in a whirlwind right now with a whole lot of pain and emotions. Not only do you have a good bit of healing and emotions to process until you can have a healthy relationship, but entangling yourself with other woman at this point will make any chance of a R much more difficult.
THIS! Last thing you need is to make your problems worse.
Wow R will not be possible, no way, you guys can’t even imagine, she is telling people, relatives and family (including the kid) that she is finally free from an extremely abusing relationship (emotional and physical abuse) from non stop fighting and screaming that been going on for years. That’s NOT true, not even small % of what’s coming out of her mouth. Yet she is not telling people that she is in love(including wedding plans) with OM and lives with him when kid not with her….
Where in the WORLD this nonsense coming from? I should be the angry and resentful one for her cheating and divorcing me…..
I do not agree. R is always a possibility, at least her trying to R is. I tell this story all of the time. When I was going through my situation, I read a lot of anti-divorce writers and experts. One book I read on women's infidelity told the story of a woman that to justify her A, and leaving her H for the AP, accused her LBH of sexually abusing their child. He fought the allegations, there was no evidence to corroborate them, and he was eventually cleared of all the wrongdoing. At the final D hearing, after the judge ruled and finalized the D, the WAW said to this LBH, "I know in my heart we belong together and one day we will be again." or something to that effect.
Remember, she stood before God and witnesses and verbally committed her life to you in marriage, and since then has changed her mind. So it is logical to believe that she could change her mind again.
Having said all of that, do not bank on that. It could be years, even decades before she wants to R. By then you will probably have moved on and won't be open to it. So you need to assume that your MR is over, and start moving your life forward with that understanding. You might be surprised that once she is convinced that you are ok with the D, even on board with it, and even now WANT it, she might start to hedge. I've seen that a handful of times with friends and family.
Regardless, you have a lot of work to do before you get involved with another woman. The time will come, don't rush it. Work on being the best Jq that you can be, and give it time. My advice is to not start dating until after the D is final. I have a lot of reasons for that advice, but I think it is just a good line to draw in the sand from a timing perspective as well. (I will also point out that the LBSs that jump to dating too early end up struggling more than the LBSs that give it a proper amount of time.)
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
