I do know that I can not fix this, and one thing you said strikes soooooooo true to me. Everything seemed pretty good to me for the most part . Then I had surprised her about taking a trip to Florida for spring break earlier this month because she loves the beach. She wasn’t quite as excited as I would have thought it was kinda of weird. Well the following weekend she came up to me and said We’re you planning on renewing our vows when we go, because a little while back she mentioned wanting to renew our vows, as our 30th Anniversay would be April 11 around the time we would be gone. I said I wasn’t really planning on it, that was more your idea. She then she said ok, because I don’t know if I am ready for that. I said ok again that was your idea, but you saying that is kinda of concerning. She said just forget I said anything, I said kinda hard to forget that. I said I did buy the trip insurance and can cancel the trip, which I did two days later. So the next day I asked her about what happened and she said she wanted a divorce. I was like ok, kinda caught me off guests. Now 3 weeks or so later I find out about OM and it begins to make sense. When I finally found out for sure about OM and confronted her, she said they had only been chatting for a about a month or so. The thing is she was already so deep in the the talking that’s she now wants to divorce. She says she has been thinking about it for a awhile, but conveniently not until another person comes into the picture does she actually say something….hmmm. It’s like all of sudden all the past issues and stuff come out again that she has always talked about, but not as frequently as before. It’s like she needs some one in place before she can say she wants to leave. She does t not being alone, and as I stated very needy, with low self esteem. 10 months ago her sister has gastric bypass because of being over weight and now is very slim, and my wife is overweight and jealous of her sister , and even talk to me about having the surgery but doesn’t think she can because of various health issues . I told her at that time that she was more than a number on a scale to me, but she is vey vain about how she looks, needing to ask me a minimum of three times how she looks before we can go out the door. After I found out about the OM this time after I moved out , I sent a rant text stating Again you took the easy way out. I said I was good with the divorce this time as last time I begged and chased and did what I could do to keep you hear, but im not going to do that again if you are that unhappy. I don’t want you to stay if you are unhappy. I said the thing is you don’t need another man you need to work on yourself and the past issues in your life reagrding our marraiage The passing of your dad and issues with your dad growing up and the issue with what the babysitter did when you were you. I don’t care what relationship you go into you will never be happy because you aren’t addressing the issues In Your past with us and the babysitter your dads recent death etc and thinking a new man or relationship will make it all go away. I said trust me I know I am not all the problem here or our past together, and I also no that a new man is not going to fix your issues As only you can. I said what you need to get back in to consoling and work on yourself only. I was rambling on but tried my best to get my point accross. That being said it did not go over well.
She wrote back, you do know that what you did to me those i years not talking to me much and being emotionally unavailable is called mental abuse right? That’s why im not the same wife you married.
