Thank you for clarifying. I want to say that you and your sitch have been valuable to me and I read quite a bit of your posts while I was going through the thick of my own. You had a different perspective from me and others, and I valued that.
Your post here, keeping up on the different perspective, the part of Jesus - cant say I fully disagree. I'm rereading the Bible from scratch at times of peace. Its not as fire and brimstone as I remember.
The triggering part is the only thing I can intelligently contend with and I'm not fond to make this point again as I am painting myself victim in the scenario. I think its a valuable lesson though for those interested and lurkers; and a warning I have to tie in.
Now Im on my own thread, talking about my innermost thoughts, and how difficult it is to attempt something because of language and I said ". For example, "no harsh language", well um, we can't even agree on what a man and woman are so how is one supposed to know what is allowed?". Now that is pure truth, meant to be light and I see no verbiage targeting, excluding, no harsh language, no foul language, a sentence some agreed with, some not. Am I to step around land mines in everything I write here in the event that someone is indirectly and unintentionally hurt? Everyone is bother by everything. Any single thing may offend a person. Ive see it alot here and I let it go if its not targeted at me. How often on the forums have we heard how miserable it is and how often people on the forums had to step around landmines in their relationships? How its frequently a sign of abuse?
Here is the response I received while venting about staring fate, misery and existence in the face, on my thread: "My trans son is a better, kinder, more Christ-like human being than you could ever dream of being. Why don’t you concern yourself more with your own business than with contributing to a world that puts my son’s life in danger by your hateful rhetoric? Christ was not a hater."
That seems targeted, hateful, directed Etc. doesnt it? The solution being I should've been compassionate as well...no, there is nothing I see to do differently. If someone is triggered by a remark on someones own thread, targeted at no one, with no blaming, fingering, pointing or direct language, I think lashing out at them (and calling it what it is) abusively, does not make both parties guilty of wrong doing.
These forums we build each other up, we learned validation, boundaries, learned about abuse. Now as many things today, what once was great is tarnished. I figured us on the forums are some of the best of the best. We spend years correcting behaviors, years bouncing thoughts through different perspectives to grow ourselves and each other. To stretch our minds, to be better humans.
Now I bring up othering because I had my own expectation, erroroneously, that people on the forums here who have been in the situation would understand. See there are alot of Americans being othered. Right now. Not just by random people on forums, no, by top politicians on both sides, by at least half of MSM, in magazines, books, in schools, in corporations. Now I said warning earlier because many who pay attention to history know what happens next. One side will light a fuse and its usually the side doing the othering with the gov having their back. Does anyone here want that? If not then for Gods sakes people need to stop being extreme and stand up together. It was done for skin color, it was done for womens rights, it was done for lgb but where are the voices speaking up for anyone that is not and I hate using this label as its general, far left authoritarian? Has no one else seen how much the gov has been crushing the middle class, ALL races, ALL identities.
My own gov officials in multiple agencies and even the president call me a domestic terrorist because, yes me, because I think there was some fraud, and its been proven. How much, I dont know, would it change results, I dont know but I'm not allowed to ask, and I'm likely on a list, for having an "incorrect thought or feeling". My brother who is in armed services has been advised to take caution and not like any posts or communicate on social media to anyone that mentioned anything about fraud. Well, I certainly said I'd be interested in seeing if the machines to mess with our votes. Weird how good people never get elected. So hey, I guess life goes on and my brother has to risk his career to talk to me for questioning a hackable machine. If stuff like this doesnt unite us, then well, America will topple and its hell for anyone thats an outsider, and I bet thats most of us here, many of us are outsiders in one shape or another.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
You are one incredibly intelligent fellow. I can feel your IQ from here, lol.
Everything you say is thought through, educated, etc. i don’t agree with your opinion on everything, but some I honestly can’t argue with. And I can usually argue anything if I really wanted to, lol.
Seriously though. I think your intelligence is what might be depressing you and giving your doom and gloom prospective. That high level of intelligence is a blessing and curse.
The following is NOT medical advice. But I know you are against regular pharmaceuticals, which is fine. But have you considered medical marijuana? Just to help a little bit with the overthinking ? Not to even dull your smarts, but to just to relax your brain every once in a while?
I always say ignorance is bliss. I’m not nearly as intelligent as you. But I am a deep thinker and I have experienced too much which causes me to know too much. There is a lot I wish I didn’t know and could smile blissfully through. But I can’t and it causes me stress.
I do think you are empathetic. If you weren’t, none of the stuff you worry about would bother you.
Honesty is always welcome from you - your delivery gets right through to my core. Never seems maliciously intended and is good hearted.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
You are one incredibly intelligent fellow. I can feel your IQ from here, lol.
Do we live that close to each other?? And thank you.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Everything you say is thought through, educated, etc. i don’t agree with your opinion on everything, but some I honestly can’t argue with. And I can usually argue anything if I really wanted to, lol.
Thats how we know its probably or likely true and wow does the truth suck sometimes. Many times. And alot of the stuff I complain and vent about, I keep poking holes in to the subject and eventually its solid and I think one reason for coming here is hope that I'm wrong, or to get more perspective.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Seriously though. I think your intelligence is what might be depressing you and giving your doom and gloom prospective. That high level of intelligence is a blessing and curse.
Its sounds like you have similar problems and I can say the blurse may be effecting you too. You've uncovered uncomfortable truths and it feels like naivete may be better or maybe we come across this revelations for a reason.
Think I'm out of quotes- G:The following is NOT medical advice. But I know you are against regular pharmaceuticals, which is fine. But have you considered medical marijuana? Just to help a little bit with the overthinking ? Not to even dull your smarts, but to just to relax your brain every once in a while? C: CBD worked for awhile. I would try the good stuff occasionally if it legalizes here. It has a bad downside though. Hemp has an amazing ability to pull heavy metals out of the ground and in to itself, which then goes in to your body and mercury and lead cross the blood brain barrier, making a nice shiny deposit where we least want it. Definitely need a good source for the stuff. Another part of me likes to face the reality however.
G: I always say ignorance is bliss. I’m not nearly as intelligent as you. But I am a deep thinker and I have experienced too much which causes me to know too much. There is a lot I wish I didn’t know and could smile blissfully through. But I can’t and it causes me stress. C: It would be nice to plug bad in to the matrix and unsee. Goodness, there is one thing I learned about that I've never mentioned to another person and won't here because it's so soul crushing that, I have no better words to use than say it killed a part of me. And if people can track phones, dna, and do uncanny forensics, the powers that be undoubtedly have the ability to jail the culprits I'm hinting at here but...I never saw a result.
Why do we know these harsh truths and how can we make the world better knowing?
G: I do think you are empathetic. If you weren’t, none of the stuff you worry about would bother you. C: I didn't have the words to describe that -- that's what I'm thinking. I'm basking in validation right now.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Something lighter to add: My kids have taken to purposely falling down the stairs, and jumping down the stairs.
Now here is something that may be shocking. I let them. I have them move their toys out of the way, do it one at a time and be smart about it. So far only some crying from being scared thank God.
My son, its so impressive, his death defying maneuvers on the stairs have taught him how to fall properly. Better now than when his bones and joints are solid. He fell, rolled from wrist to arm to back to legs and stood up.
His trust is through the roof. He likes to stand near a ledge and fall in to my arms. Well, I was near said ledge but was paying attention to my daughter and his happy feet pitter patter rapidly to the ledge, and over. Its like time slowed down and I caught him before he learned his father is fallible.
My daughter, well she likes to see how high she can jump from. No idea why but I did this too as a kid. Probably why my knees sound like rice crispies. She has temporarily accepted her own reasonable limits.
My daughter also talked about how she cant marry her brother, because he's her brother and she's relieved because he was being whiny. My laughter slipped. It was hilarious. Now she is encouraged to say this stuff again.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Hey Core, just wanted to say Im glad you are back and that you should keep at the positives. Keep at it with enjoying life and time with your kids! Some say u are depressed, and while I am definitely not going to even try to make any sort of diagnostics I will say from time to time you sound like my grumpy old grandpa.
Try to focus on the positives! Set some short term goals/plans. Strength and honor my friend.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
Some say u are depressed, and while I am definitely not going to even try to make any sort of diagnostics I will say from time to time you sound like my grumpy old grandpa.
Lmao! You've no idea how much I can't wait for those golden years. I'm getting there with my aching back, stiff knees, disgust for modern culture and annoyance of loud noises. I yet to yell at kids for being on my lawn though I'm nearing the age of yelling at dog owners. Maybe a couple more years.
I "back in my day" with the kids all the time and just today talked about what I used to be able to buy with a dollar. I'm seriously thinking about making friends at the old folks home to have some guys to relate with.
I think if I liked the culture, I'd have more to be excited for. Not in a grass is greener sense but the few things I like, when there is something new, are fun to sit in anticipation for.
Skin color this, I like to sleep with that. I don't get the draw. I understand why we're here and who's doing it but outside those factors, its boring. To me at least. The individual is what used to matter back in my day. Not what categories one could fit in to. Who wants to be boxed in and labeled? I'm not a x color dude who sleeps with y and traveled part of the orient in my youth to further dismantle some cause a billionaire wants me to. I'm a person who worked hard enough to get a trip there and learned enough to get around and not be held ransom for those formerly sweet american dollars. As an individual, it was an achievement, and my prize is I still wonder if I have kids on the other side of the world.
Speaking of getting old and kids I know about. My son is keeping me feeling young. Not because I live vicariously through his youth but because of the necessity to survive. The other day he was just tormenting his sister, needing some roughing up to entertain himself and there was no fight left in her. I stepped up to take down the reigning champ and quickly victory over someone 1/6th my weight and size was near. I thought he would accept defeat as noogies almost mercilessly descended towards his just recently solidified cranium but boy can he can squirm out of a predicament like his skin is butter and I learned his kicks are FAST. Luckily my reflexes saved me a black eye. This time. We had a blast, and his sister got a break to relax and built an adorable scene for her toys to play in. We were exhausted enough to relax and once I picked up my poor hairs that got ripped out of my skull probably never to return, I got like 10 minutes in with my daughter before one of us brought conflict, chaos and destruction to her game.
Still some joy left, I'd just like to live where there is more joy, and where there is less manufactured conflict. Where criminals go to jail, where leaders become politicians and not politicians acting as leaders. Where races can joke again. Where I can let the kids out of my sight for more than 2 seconds without cps and helicopter moms and lawnmower dads ruining their adventure. Where the rich get rich by providing great things, and not continually bleeding you of funds for products that are the exact some thing as before but with a tweek. A couple of those are fantasy, but werent so in the good ol days.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
. Where I can let the kids out of my sight for more than 2 seconds without cps and helicopter moms and lawnmower dads ruining their adventure.
My son wanders around with his friends for an hour or so after school everyday. No random adults cause him trouble--or he'd text me, and I'd call the local sheriff. I'm sorry you feel you live somewhere those joys aren't possible!
. Where I can let the kids out of my sight for more than 2 seconds without cps and helicopter moms and lawnmower dads ruining their adventure.
My son wanders around with his friends for an hour or so after school everyday. No random adults cause him trouble--or he'd text me, and I'd call the local sheriff. I'm sorry you feel you live somewhere those joys aren't possible!
Sounds wonderful! It used to be that way here before crime skyrocketed. I yearn for a semi-country semi-surburban life in the South or mid-west.
As the world burns in the same pattern as Rome fell, I'd like to have my kids away from where the most chaos will occur. Italy and much of the world had a dark time for quite awhile after the fall. As Rome split in two, it looks like we are heading that way too. Countryside and the hard life it brings is the way for me.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
[quote=Core]It used to be that way here before crime skyrocketed.[\quote]
Google, “United States Crime Rates 1960 - 2019”
Most statistics show crime is down going from 1980 to 2020. I’m shocked by how little physical violence my kids have seen growing up. No gang shootings. No classmates thrown through windows. No one steals their lunch money. No switchblades or drug dealers at bus stops. My son has never come home with bruises or a black eye from fighting?! Imagine that.
I was also the first in my family to go to college and escape my rural hometown for an amazing city suburb. I used to have a concealed weapons permit and be effective with a glock, but safer neighborhoods seemed more cost effective and carry other benefits like good schools.
As the world burns in the same pattern as Rome fell, I'd like to have my kids away from where the most chaos will occur. Italy and much of the world had a dark time for quite awhile after the fall.
I feel you are seriously overthinking things While history offers valuable lessons, the state of the world today is nothing like is nothing like the world was during the Roman days. And Rome risked failing as a state several times before it eventually declined the way it did - the Spartacus slave revolt, multiple civil wars, the Gallic threats etc. And do you really think the world is more chaotic today than during the days of the Cold War or WW2? Or better yet, the time when Genghis Khan wiped out a large % of the existing human population?
Originally Posted by Traveler
Most statistics show crime is down going from 1980 to 2020. I’m shocked by how little physical violence my kids have seen growing up. No gang shootings. No classmates thrown through windows. No one steals their lunch money. No switchblades or drug dealers at bus stops. My son has never come home with bruises or a black eye from fighting?! Imagine that.
Exactly right! In addition, there are also other trends away from violence such as changing attitudes towards corporal punishment which eventually reinforce less violent tendencies in kids
While history offers valuable lessons, the state of the world today is nothing like is nothing like the world was during the Roman days. And Rome risked failing as a state several times before it eventually declined the way it did - the Spartacus slave revolt, multiple civil wars, the Gallic threats etc. And do you really think the world is more chaotic today than during the days of the Cold War or WW2? Or better yet, the time when Genghis Khan wiped out a large % of the existing human population?