My mindset was awful and I was generally set up to fail with that mindset. I was like angry at men and that’s not good. I decided to drop that. I’m just going to eliminate the bad stuff the way I can up front. I’m going in as all me and where the chips may fall with that one, they fall.
I do imagine if I swiped right on every male, I would match 85% of the time. I also think guys just swipe right on everyone THEN they weed out, where as I think women weed out before swiping. Quality is definitely best on bumble, but they put alot of our walls up since I’ve last been on. Pisses me off.
I know the standard should be has own home and sees kids regularly. As you know, my area is like 500k for a fixer upper these days in a decent neighborhood and a 3 bedroom rental above 2k. It will make you house poor like me on one income and a child. So I try not to be too judgemental. There are a lot who lost a lot in a divorce and it doesn’t make any sense to become house poor and in t when your parents let you live in their big house for free . I get it. But it doesn’t work too well for dating . I had no problem with M because mom worked at night and she loved me. So I could stay over and I was welcomed .
I learned some more about this guy today. Divorced since 2013. He has full custody of his daughter for the last 3 years. He is willing to talk about it and he said over drinks. We were speaking honestly and he we were talking about “nice guys” and “nice girls” he said he used to be a” nice guy” but he realized they never win because they can be weak, passive, filtered, not confident and wishy washy. He admitted it was him but isn’t anymore.
He just keeps becoming a better match. I hope we get to meet soon. I enjoy chatting with him alot and I haven’t enjoyed chatting with anyone in forever.
I’m going out tonight for a coworkers farewell. I realize going out now stresses me out. I love being social and getting drinks with friends. But the drinking pArt stresses me . I never have a DD, I can always call an Uber, but it’s a real pain in the Butt. I also hate hangovers killing my day. I’m going to keep it to a 2 drink min then club soda with wine for the rest of the night. I only enjoy drinking at home or when I’m staying somewhere. But I’ll have fun and get home at a reasonable hour because I’m just older now and I want to.
I’ve got a weekend away wedding next weekend. I’ll have some fun there. We have a hotel. As long as my wedding date can handle her liquor and I don’t have to take care of her
