Oh - and about MIL coming to help you - please make sure she knows what is going on before she comes. Be brutally honest. H is living with an affair partner, the woman spied on you and threatened suicide, she doesn't want him seeing his son etc. If she can't be on your side you don't need her there. And honestly, you don't need her there if she's going t be there telling YOU what YOU should be doing to "win him back". If she can't see her son is totally being a cad, you won't want her there.
Fortunately MIL and I have been really close from the start, even from when H and I started dating. I have been blessed with not only her support through all of this, but also the fact that she has been a good friend to me. I can safely say I talk to her more than she talks to her son, so naturally, I have told her all of the details of the separation (and continued to update her). I know that her coming here is essentially for me and her grandson, and not to try to "get my H back," so at least in this case I don't have to worry about her.
Hmmm. AK we occasionally get LBSs here that insist that they are closers to their WAS' family than the WAS is. And maybe it is true occasionally. But I think you need to tread lightly here. She is YOUR MIL. She is his MOTHER. Blood tends to be thicker than water. My fear here is that you are trying to keep your MIL as an ally in all of this, as a way to get your husband back. I know you insist her visit isn't about that. But let me ask you, how often has your MIL come for a visit like this in the past? Is this usual or unusual?
AK, the other fear I have is that eventually, your son apart, she is going to pull away from you. It is the natural order of the world. Are you ready for that to happen? I am concerned that you might get hurt by that eventually.
Just proceed with caution. As upset as she might be with her son's behavior, he is still her son.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
