Here in the States, you would file an "Order for Temporary Support" so that H has to be committed to supporting you and the children until a divorce is finalized.

If he wasn't contributing to the savings accounts, where was his money going? Did he make that much less than you? Or was he maybe spending his money elsewhere? Other women? Drugs or gambling? Hiding money?

I have to tell you - when I hear that he "got depressed" and left you years before - my spidey senses start to tingle. I'll bet you he was having an affair then too. It's even possible he has cheated on you off and on over the years. Turns out my ex probably was.

Parts of this story sounds a bit like my ex, and what I am about to tell you comes from that experience. First of all, a guy who walks out on his pregnant wife and toddler son has SHOWN YOU WHO HE IS - a selfish person. (And one with bad taste in affair partners, since she's a whackadoodle who spies on her affair partner's wife and threatens suicide. What a peach.)

Second - even if he comes back, you can never trust him again. A guy who will do this now, is likely to become a repeat offender when you get older, or life gets more stressful, or the kids are a handful, or someone in the family gets seriously sick, or he turns 50 and goes into a panic about aging. I bet if you look back on your relationship, you'll find that you have been the one accommodating him and making it work. Once that genie is out of the bottle - once they see an affair or leaving as an option - it's very hard for them to return to a state where they would never consider it. You deserve better.

Third - divorcing him now, while the kids are little, means that they will just grow up accepting this reality that mom and dad don't live together. If you reconcile and he leaves again 5 years later, that's MUCH harder on the kids.

Four - Even if you're not decided yet about divorce - which I understand, this is very new - definitely follow your lawyer's advice about protecting yourself financially. You can always remarry if he truly comes crawling back and does all the things necessary but as others have pointed out, you can't always get that money back, and you will need it.

Fifth - I hope Australia is where you wanted to live and not where he maneuvered you to in order to be in the country he wanted when divorcing. If not - if you'd really like to return to the UK to be near family who could help you with the kids - talk to your attorney about your options.

Sixth - stop relying on him. Stop including him unless he actually asks. Definitely don't tell him where you're going or what you're doing. He had lost the right to know what you're doing. They like to think you're patiently waiting on the shelf as his Plan B - don't let him think that.

I'm so sorry about this whole mess. But realize that reconciling for the sake of the kids can be a mistake. That was part of my motivation when my ex cheated when my kids were 12-15; years later they told me they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop - which it did several years later. Only in retrospect did I see that my ex was a narcissist, and our marriage worked mostly because I accommodated him in so many ways.