The short answer is that it doesn't matter. WW. MLC. WAW. Any combination of the three. The answer is always the same: back off, remove all pressure and pursuit, focus on yourself. GAL like a madman. Get into IC and work on self-improvements to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Learn to detach your emotions (and therefore your reactions) from her words and deeds.
Some call that cookie-cutter. I call it the right approach. If LBSs would spend more time on the above and less time trying to diagnose their walk-away spouse, they'd be better off sooner. I know it is hard, I was where you were. I was convinced all of our problems were her having a MLC, or her SSRIs, or that I had behaved poorly (which I had). None of that changed GAL, self-improvement, and detachment.
Give us some more info on your situation. Lots of folks here have lots of relevant experience and the wisdom of hindsight. We can help you navigate the troubled waters and get to the other side healthy and happy regardless of the outcome.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
3 month ago my wife told me she wants a divorce out of nowhere. She been kind of cold to me prior 2-3weeks. Started to hand out without me 3-4 times a week. Said she doesn’t have feelings for me and she doesn’t love me. She moved out 6 weeks later and we have lawyers for 2 month ironing out paperwork.
At first, I thought it was not a big deal, was trying to be reasonable and was trying to work it out LOL by being nice, a door mat as you will and followed by all other mistakes LBS make at first. Right of the bet I could see it was not working, she was really cold, couldn’t get her to even smile. Also thought process changed, logic gone!
Jq, be prepared. A lot of markers here that suggest she met someone. I am not saying that to harm you but to warn you to be prepared for that other shoe to drop. We see LBSs that start DBing pretty well and then repeat all of the same mistakes when the inevitable OP is revealed. So gird yourself for that because there is a high likelihood that she is involved with someone.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
There are just so many things that she was doing, I was living with someone from another planet. She is so stuck on divorce, it’s crazy so much rush it’s insane 2-3 times a day work on getting divorce.
The interesting thing is that it seems that way now, but you will be AMAZED at how lazy she will become towards D. They do the early rush to justify what they are doing. "The marriage is over." But many times once they are physically separated, sometimes even living with the other man, they will DO NOTHING to move the D forward. It is amazing how many times the LBS ends up getting tired of waiting and just either goes and files themselves, or does what is necessary to move a stalled D forward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
