Ann, that is great! So glad it sounds like you have a good IC, it will be very important as you move forward. Like the idea for you to step back, and just let you feel your feelings. Please do not reach out to him while you do that. Your mind will play tricks on you and try to get you to think you have to in order to understand. "If only I knew how he felt about X." That is a cheeseless tunnel, so please try and make a commitment that this is for you and you alone. Your feelings about unknown answers you still have are still feelings that you can sit with and figure out how to move forward.
Look at his current actions for your answers to things you are unsure about. Try to face anything you are still in denial about and see the reality of your situation as you go through this exercise.
Great work here though.
Thank you SteveLW. I did initially have some reservations about my counsellor, but once she gave me some materials and exercises on how to sit with my feelings, it kind of made sense and became something more doable. I will not have contact with H unless it is to do with son and will continue to be away one day in the weekend.
I am aware that my mind will still try to play tricks, but hopefully I will be more aware of it and would be able to stop myself from getting into the tunnel.
