I made a huge mistake after finding out about other new guy on Friday I went to his place where she was I find her vehicle and blew up. The thing is The night before,she texted me to see if I was ok and I said I will be fine. She has been the one last week reaching out to me.We texted a little back and fourth and she said I am so sorry about this and absolutely hate myself, meaning I assume about wanting a divorce. Then later said I can't stand myself for this. At this time I was positive about another guy but was beginning to wonder as when earlier in week I confronted her about some one else she said she had not been talking etc to anyone. I then said
Don’t be so hard on your self. I know that you believe there has to be some one better out there for you that will take care of you and fulfill you in the ways I didn’t, or couldn’t . Without the past hurt I caused. To which replied You are completely wrong. You could not have taken better care of me. No one could do a better job. And I don’t think anyone can or will fulfill me any more. You have been the best in the past 5 years. It has nothing to do with any of that. I just can’t seem to make myself whole after all the pain and detestation I felt before those 5 years.Then she said I think it might be better for everyone if I just wasn’t here anymore. I said everything is going to be fine and I am here for you After that ...it scared me, because 4 years earlier she tried to OD on pills and I had to take her to the ER. I called her and talked to her, but then I eventually went to the house cause I was scared to have her be alone not knowing what could happen. When I got there she was lying in bed and I layer down by her and she said I told you I was fine, and I said well after what happened a few years ago I was willing to take the chance. I ended up staying the night with her sand she laid her head on me and we went to sleep., and I got up in the morning and went to work as did she.
I didn't talk to her on Friday after we left Friday morning for work and was still worried but left her alone. That night which was Friday I was at our other house were I stay currently and at about 4 am my ring door bell went off because a animal went thru the yard. When I opened the app I noticed her vehicle wasn't home and it worried me. I previously seen a guys name in her Facebook messenger app I was a little suspicious about and he was from the town where we work and and so I google his address and drove by and her car was there. I freaked out and started honking my horn at like 6 am and she came out in a night shirt.
I was so pissed. All she said was I told you I wanted a divorce. I left and went back home.
Later she texted me because I tried call her friend who she has been talking to and the she texted me a said leave her friend out of this, this is between you and me. I said you are right, maybe things would be better if I just was here any more, a play on words she used the night before. She then texted back you know that's not true. You should call your sister or someone to talk to, im not the one you want to talk to about this. I then texted her, You told me you weren’t talking with anyone and this has been bugging you for a while because of the 9 years. Then you walk out in a nightshirt at a strangers house . I could not believe it . To which she replied I can understand that. I definitely did not handle things correctly. You may not believe this, but I was trying to spare your feelings. AND it is about the those past years years and how I can’t get over it and how it has changed me. I then sent a long winded text basically saying that she has to take responsibility for her self and her own mental health and well being and get back to counseling and that a new man is not going to fix her problems. I said in the last 5 years I have did everything in our marriage
To take the stress of you and and allow you to work on getting better mentally With the past and with all your physical medical stuff. That's why she stayed I have been the best the last 5 years.
I said you have to quit blaming me for everything wrong in your life. Yes I hurt you and was emotionally unavailable during the past years but I have totally changed and you have admitted it yourself. I understand younstill struggle getting over those years but you have done nothing to work thru it with counseling and stuff, its just easier to blame me for everything. I said you think find another man is going to be the quick fix answer for and it not. My job is not to make you happy, my job is to supplement your own happiness. I said the woman I saw come out in the night shirt is the woman I know and the mother of our children.to which she replied... You know what you did to me for those years is called mental abuse, right? And you are continuing with that mental abuse now. I wonder how anyone who heard my story would feel about you. That’s the reason why I’m not the Michelle you married . That is the last contact we have had and that was Saturday