Thanks LH. I've spoken to a therapist and they've told me my wife is in MLC. I'm just not so sure, yet, because I havent seen any of the crazy behavior people speak about. She's a great mom. Hasnt neglected any of her responsibilities etc. No excessive spending or purple hair (you get what Im saying).
She's also not angry. But she's completely indifferent towards me, feels absolutely nothing for me right now and doesnt care about the pain inflicted through words pre BD. But she seems happy in general. Happy around our friends. We're friendly at home after BD, zero fights etc. She initiates a lot of conversations, mostly about the kids. BD was where I got the ILUBINILWU speech. Just in limbo for now while I do my work and I'm not sure where this goes.
What I have seen is rapid weight loss from exercise (60+ lbs in ~6 months). Talk of plastic surgery (completely out of character). A total infatuation with OM (I havent been able to confirm it's reciprocal or there is contact, jury is still out). A new look, a new wardrobe. Excessive phone use. Actively putting herself out there on social media to attract someone etc. Its heartbreaking to watch in the background.
If it is MLC then I think its at the beginning stages of replay (infatuation confirmed, possible EA, actively seeking PA with intent, just not sure if she's got there yet).
But what if it's not MLC and more wayward. I know the steps are the same, but do they hit rock bottom sooner and if so, how do you help them to hit rock bottom so you can turn things around faster?
Or is rock bottom losing an affair partner and spouse and kids at the same time at which point you need to let them play things out? I could never forgive a PA. If its inevitable I'd rather save my kids and I the pain.
