2-day intensives with Michele, Feedback

[BL42]

Hi Everyone. Took a break. I am pretty over whelmed.

That's understandable. It's a lot. Definitely one of the hardest experiences in many people's lives.

Found out spouse has had resentments for 15 years but never bothered to tell me. Thought grin and bear it was a good approach. Seems I have a spouse who is pretty good at hiding what is true. So now, I do not know what is real and true and what is a good front.

As MLCxH mentioned, we often see cases where the WAS/WS re-writes history believing the marriage or relationship was way worse than it was. Call it a defense mechanism or a justification of their actions. It doesn't mean you should buy into that narrative. 15 years would've been a really long time to be unhappy and resentful without you picking up on it. Likley you had a lot of good times in that period. On the flip side it's often the case the LBS rewrites the relationship in the other direction thinking everything was wonderful when and when things settle and there's a realization there were some issues and they weren't always happy. You'll have a better perspective over time.

Also legal issues.

Focusing on next impending legal issue, which seems most important

Are the legal issues you refer related to the divorce? Is something else going on?

Preparing for a whole new life.

How do people handle having their lives ripped apart and staying functional and productive and get things done while staying relatively sane and doing basic self maintainance?

Try to focus on the immediate. Try not to worry about the rest of your life yet. Focus on today, not even a month from now let alone a year or 2 out. If you need help sleeping talk to a doctor about medication as the short term fix. Get out of bed in the AM. Get showered, get dressed, go for a walk at lunch, breath. Fix or get a new phone this week. Don't worry about a year from now. Take care of the little things and you'll see improvement over time. The hours feel like weeks in the beginning but two years out you're going to be amazed at how fast the time went, trust me.