You're dealing with a lot. Your pregnancy, Gestational Diabetes, your H's affair, your dad's potential cancer. That must be incredibly difficult. Try to take some time to step back and breath. You will get through this.
Thank you, BL42 and LH19. I had an individual counselling session last week and one of the main things that stood out from this session was that I may have not really taken enough time to sit with my feelings and really mourn. I have been so busy distracting myself as much as I could, that feelings tend to creep up on me and I will get into the same ineffective mind reading exercise. I am taking one or two day off work this week to do this, and to step back and breathe.
Ann, that is great! So glad it sounds like you have a good IC, it will be very important as you move forward. Like the idea for you to step back, and just let you feel your feelings. Please do not reach out to him while you do that. Your mind will play tricks on you and try to get you to think you have to in order to understand. "If only I knew how he felt about X." That is a cheeseless tunnel, so please try and make a commitment that this is for you and you alone. Your feelings about unknown answers you still have are still feelings that you can sit with and figure out how to move forward.
Look at his current actions for your answers to things you are unsure about. Try to face anything you are still in denial about and see the reality of your situation as you go through this exercise.
Great work here though.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
