I don't think aiming for a nice face is much of a stretch to hypothesis for. Even if I factored that out though, I mean the prospects in my model would go from like 10 to 20. And its not like I'm a chud or I'm aiming for hollywood starlet looks.
I mean if you factor in everything, I'm looking for an equal for anything realistic. Men, like women have dual mating strategies. Women, in my opinion like a strong alpha guy, and providers, depending on where they are in life or on that day. Some guys fit both categories, most are one or the other. Men, will take short term to calm the storm but simultaneously that type of woman doesn't often make long term material.
All the more reason why I think our culture and society just isn't in a good place, and our make up whether one believes the father made us this way, or biology, leaves us with some interesting challenges to overcome.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
But I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in a serious relationship before me:)
Im taking from this that you're saying it's pretty hopeless in your neighborhood as well. Am I interpreting this correctly?
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
I said “hopeless” because when you did the numbers of what you desire, you came down to 0 women who fit into your categories/preferences.
Nothing is hopeless or impossible. But there is probability out there. The odds of an average divorced man in his late 30’s with kids finding an above average woman in her early 20’s who doesn’t want kids of her own but wants to be with a divorced dude who has kids and an ex wife is just a match that is very very very unlikely. Not hopeless though!
When I say average/above average, I’m using your words, not mine.
I meant you mentioning that I would be in a serious relationship before you, sounds awful for you because if my chances are zero and I'm not even trying, then its dismal for you and you seem to want a connection! I'm rooting for you.
I talk to a older D'd mom occasionally when our kids are goofing around, and she sounds a lot like us. Done with it. Says she tried dating for awhile and almost no longer cares to.
Changing tracks here, I'd say for now, my chances are impossible at dating as you cant achieve what you dont try. We'll see if I try someday. Obviously when I see a beautiful woman I temporarily debate getting out there but the feelings pass. The reality is here where I live, as an average dude, I'm pretty sure I'd be treated subpar. Instinctively to me, I think a lot of women and probably men too, wont treat an average person so well. Who wants average joe when above average steve is around the corner. Now if a girl is awed by me or sees me as a prize, I'd be treated better and more lovingly. Brings me back to being in Asia where dudes would even come up to me, trying to be my friend, as I believe they wanted to bring their own status up, to attract the babes. If I lived there, I probably wouldn't want anything long term still but I would surely go out and live it up.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
I'm starting to think Ive been hopping on here as a distraction. I also spent more than enough time playing a classic game today. So easy to get hooked in. Now what I'm wondering is it the dopamine hits that are drawing me in or worse, is it the existential crisis that crawls its way through my mind when I achieve stillness. I thought I figured my way through the last stare in to the abyss but when I was relaxing the other day, my brain thought of more possibilities, ruining the peace I had achieved. I suppose I've been avoiding that discomfort and better face it before more time is wasted on a game. I'm not entirely confident I can solve it this time as the holes I poked in to my solution are pretty big.
80 hours on a game since Black Friday. Cant imagine what else I could've gone with that time.
I have something I want to do thats productive, but the laws, rules and restrictions are so boring, I can feel my heartrate cut in half when I'm like three sentences in to reading the legal mumbo. And in the end its all interpretation anyway. For example, "no harsh language", well um, we can't even agree on what a man and woman are so how is one supposed to know what is allowed?
I have the kids tomorrow thankfully. They are getting big so fast. Enjoying holding them while I can.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
we can't even agree on what a man and woman are so how is one supposed to know what is allowed?
My trans son is a better, kinder, more Christ-like human being than you could ever dream of being. Why don’t you concern yourself more with your own business than with contributing to a world that puts my son’s life in danger by your hateful rhetoric? Christ was not a hater.
we can't even agree on what a man and woman are so how is one supposed to know what is allowed?
My trans son is a better, kinder, more Christ-like human being than you could ever dream of being. Why don’t you concern yourself more with your own business than with contributing to a world that puts my son’s life in danger by your hateful rhetoric? Christ was not a hater.
Your child may be, I dont know, but I do know you certainly are not acting kind or Christ like. You come here with your hate and call me a hater. Inversion is not Christ, it is the other. You call truth, hateful, inversion again. You have some of your own demons to face which would better suit you than lashing out at people you disagree with. I'll continue speaking what I know to be true, I'll speak what I want to and feel on my thread and you are welcome to ignore it, as I kindly do with you on your thread.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
Core - this will be my last post to you. But I want you to understand, I’m trying to help you. Your posts have been full of anger and dislike for others who are different from you. To me it looks like your anxiety and depression are out of control and you are focusing on people you don’t even know who are just trying to live their lives, rather than deal with your own issues.
And yes, you may think you’re just “stating a fact”, but LGBTQ people have always been with us - they have just finally won the right to come out of the closet and live their authentic lives. I’m sorry that makes you uncomfortable. But when you express that, you are contributing to making a dangerous environment where LGBTQ people are killed. Please consider that and think about what Christ would do.
I'm going to break down this last post, for those that frequently have to deal with others lashing out at them, from my perspective after living with an emotionally abusive person and after doing now a couple years of listening, researching, following and debating others dealing with this.
Originally Posted by kml
My trans son is a better, kinder, more Christ-like human being than you could ever dream of being.
Leaving the trans part out, and the child out for respect of them, lets talk about the rest. Christ-like is used as a personal and spiritual attack here as individuals here know I am Christian. It's meant to confuse (am I really not Christ like), make you second guess (maybe I could be different), separate you from what you love (the Bible being used to attack you), and to make you feel lower than others (this other person is better than you). When you look at this logically, absolutely noone knows if me or the other involved is less sinful as no one knows either of us or our pasts. The sentence is merely an attack, trying to bring someone down and silence them. Increasing common these days when you have a mind of your own.
Originally Posted by kml
Why don’t you concern yourself more with your own business
Jumping in to someone else's thread and telling them to mind their own business is called gaslighting and inversion of reality.
Originally Posted by kml
than with contributing to a world that puts my son’s life in danger by your hateful rhetoric?
A thread on a dying forum really has little to no effect on the world and the language here makes the issue seem larger than it is. No life is in danger, but saying so is meant to invoke emotions and get one to back off. Calling this hateful rhetoric is an abusive tactic called labeling. One with an open mind would look at the original triggering event "we cant even agree on what a man and woman are", and may think, 'yup, that is true'. One would see that the post didn't take a side, nor have any hateful language. It was factual. Yet, the label of hateful is used anyway, to try to garner support and "other" me and or my post. Common these days as people who question things are "othered", and told they are wrong, they are silenced and banned. The ones doing the othering see it as justified or deserved. Something we've see happen commonly in history when one side or one idea has too much power.
Originally Posted by kml
Christ was not a hater.
In my interpretation of the Bible, Christ did hate demons and those that would hurt kids. Again the rhetoric is used to get one to question their own thoughts and reality. A manipulative and abusive tactic.
All of this, because a fact was stated - we cant agree on what a man and woman are.
This is modern America in a nutshell and why I want out of an extremist state, to one that is loving, rational and tolerant.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
