I discovered my wife is at the beginning stages of having a MLC. BD was 2 weeks ago when I got the "ILYBINILWY" speech. My world is destroyed. I never saw it coming.
I've spoken to a therapist who's confirmed she's having a MLC. I'm guessing she's at the beginning stages of the replay stage.
I'm committed to working through this and doing everything I need to do (180, GAL, detach and exercise), for the sake of our children.
However, one thing I could never forgive is an affair. Never. Ever.
She's lost massive amounts of weight. She looks incredible. She's either already having an emotional affair with OM or it's one sided delusional infatuation. The signs aren't good. She spends so much time on her phone texting and on social media. She's definitely putting herself out there and trying to attract someone. When doing routine things like shopping she dresses like she's going to a club. Totally out of character.
She doesnt know I know about the infatuation. In her mind she married the wrong man and 6 months ago started planning a divorce. I think I interrupted her plans by discovering all of this and things seem to be on hold for now.
I've told her I believe she's having a MLC (I know, but I had to so I could suggest she talk to someone). She doesnt believe its a MLC but has agreed to IC to figure out "if these feelings are permanent or if they'll go away".
Things are ok at home. We're friendly and she seems very happy. Zero intimacy though which is so tough (my choice, I just cant). She hasnt exhibited any crazy or irrational behavior yet. She's an excellent mom. I just dont recognize her because of the hurtful things she's said and the pain she's inflicted over the last 2 months. The speed of the deterioration of our relationship in the last 2 months is something I cannot understand. We went from "let's talk neglecting house chores and not being around enough" to "I dont love you anymore". I'm lost.
So can she get through this and reach acceptance without having an affair or is it just a matter of time? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get through this. 4-5 years? How am I supposed to survive?
