NEXT!

[Core]

Miss Ginger, the flow of this post makes me think you were having a little fun last night.

I really don’t want to be so hard on myself anymore.

As the saying goes, we are our own worst critics.

My take, on your take on validation and it's ties to your childhood is probably on point. As a kid, maybe you didn't get the attention you shoukd have and when you did it was only when you weren't being yourself. You were being what someone else wanted. You also acclimated to little or no validation.

Maybe you don't need much validation and the directness when you get it is uncomfortable because understandably your used to a little bit. Someone who eats 1000 calories a day, suddenly having 3000 will feel sick. Does indirect validation have a more positive affect with you? There are probably a good number of guys that aren't over the top full of validation yet aren't so cold they would feel like dark triad trait exemplifiers.

The last guy, for you seemed way too interested and overbearing. He may not be for some, but for you, it seems like to me he tried too hard and gave too much attention. It sounds like you want a guy who wont put you on a pedestal but who has his own thing going on, and that you both better each other but are not each others entire world.

I'm so done with my childhood stuff carrying over. It’s there, it’s not going anywhere. I’ll never be a perfect partner. Not will my partner ever be perfect.

I'm sure you know this, but that is ok. None of us will be. You can be a BETTER partner than today but perfect? Never. And honestly does anyone want perfect? It would be boring!

It’s just lonely.

Don't forget to have fun with Ginger. I have so much fun sometimes doing what I want to do when the kids aren't with me that sometimes I forget to check in on my friends. Like how could I make time for a date when I'm busy checking out an old game, watching a good movie, beautifying the house, trying a new exercise. A date seems so boring to me.

I am away with being a 5!

I'm guessing you thinking of yourself as a 5 and being a self critical person then you are probably above a 5. You mention a pretty face...how many don't have a pretty face. Youre quite blessed if you have a nice face. Not much one can do with their face besides make up. Plenty one can do for their body, spirit and mind though.