Hi Everyone. Took a break. I am pretty over whelmed. Found out spouse has had resentments for 15 years but never bothered to tell me. Thought grin and bear it was a good approach. Seems I have a spouse who is pretty good at hiding what is true. So now, I do not know what is real and true and what is a good front. When a happy spouse shows up, I do not know if it is true or just a good front.
I am working on making changes. Some pretty challenging and time consuming. Also legal issues. Responding to changes spouse makes that effect me without telling me, basic self care, GAL, appearing to be a happy, enthusiastic person to spouse when I am scared and sleep deprived, feel terrible. Let alone planning for what I need to do to take care of myself if we split. Preparing for a whole new life. Taking care of the unexpected I do not know how to handle like phone dying that is only partially packed up.
How do people do this?
I had this idea that I could check in with a friend regularly to say what I need to do next to help me stay focused, but that is not working. I think I can make a list of what I need to do then follow it. I get distracted all the time. Like with my phone dying - I want to back up the parts that are not backed up, do not know how. Huge time suck. Focusing on next impending legal issue, which seems most important, so do not have a phone which is pretty challenging. I need to spend time on the next most important thing, but it is hard to stay focused.
I am thinking right now that having something like a small group of people in a similar situation, on this forum, who check in on a regular basis might work. And sometimes help develop, tune an overall plan for an individual.
Is there something like this here? or is anyone interested?
How do people handle having their lives ripped apart and staying functional and productive and get things done while staying relatively sane and doing basic self maintainance?
