In my experience the majority of those 120 messages guys throw out are not personalized and do not show they have read my profile.
True story . Men are visual and just swipe away. Majority don’t read profiles or assess for compatibility. They see something pretty and swipe right . Women will take time read a profile, assess for interests and compatibilities. I have swiped left many times on an attractive men whom state they want kids or live too far away. Men will Swipe right on a looks then assess for compatibility. Also a winky face message, a “hey sexy” will not get an answer .
And none of that is unreasonable.
There are actually statistics supporting this as well.
Men and women have different experiences because men and women are different creatures. Not because women “must” have men who are 6 ft tall, with a 6 figure income .
I read profiles, assess for compatibility, and write personalized messages. There could be something in what Ginger’s saying about results being relates to your approach.
Not because women “must” have men who are 6 ft tall, with a 6 figure income .
Yeah - I've yet to find that combination anyway lol. I HAVE ended up dating a series of very tall men since my divorce - I like that, but partially because very tall men were geeky and awkward kids for the most part, so they tend to have that sweet "outsider" quality in my experience (I'm talking the 6'6" guys). But I've also been very attracted in the past to a couple of guys who were 5'3" (both were taken, darn it!). They were both fit, attractive, confident, and very smart - one was a physics grad student, one is a documentary filmmaker. Confidence, intelligence, sense of humor - those are my top things.
Men in my age range who had a 6 figure income must have all been looking for much younger women though - I didn't encounter many of those. Now as I get older, if I were to go back to dating, it would be less about their work income and more about their retirement plan. A guy who made a lot of money in his lifetime but spent it all (like CMM) is a lot less attractive at this point than some blue collar guy with a decent pension who lives within his means.
Well again if you are swiping right on 1 in 200 unless you’re a .5 percenter that explains the lack of success in OLDing. You dress it up anyway you want about how carefully you examine a profile.
E- your musings are helpful. And we all know hindsight vision is 20/20. The baby shower I just went to…… she and her husband met online. They are a fantastic couple. She just such a sweet good person and so is he. They have lots of love for eachother. OLD does work for people. It just hasn’t worked for me in the way I would like it to work.
I am joined to a singles group for my state. Lots of couples came out of it and they often do meetups. Most of them are sort of farther from where I live, and one day I will pull the trigger and go to one of them. In the past I have met a guy at the group fitness classes I went to. Others through friends. Everyone says they have their eye peeled for me. I know I do better organically. The opportunity is rarely there.
We have lunch and learns at work with reps from other companies. It’s been a long time since we had one (covid) and we are starting up again. The device rep for a certain wearable defibrillator is Quite attractive. My coworker says “ you gotta get his number” she missed the big ole wedding ring on his left ring finger, lol. It’s tough at the age where many men and women are married middle aged. People rarely blindly approach because you assume they are married. And a lot are .
I find this rating system 6.7/10 or what have you on this attractiveness scale T speaks of. I looked it up. I consider myself a 5/10 as this scale says 5 is average for looks. That’s me. So maybe that’s my problem? Men want a 7/10 ? Who knows .
I find this rating system 6.7/10 or what have you on this attractiveness scale T speaks of. I looked it up. I consider myself a 5/10 as this scale says 5 is average for looks. That’s me. So maybe that’s my problem? Men want a 7/10 ? Who knows.
Oh, Ginger! What I was saying, even if men initially filter on Age X-Y, Looks Z+.. as we communicate with a lady, as we see their character and how they vibe, their attractiveness changes. (There is actually a study on this--when college students were asked to rate the attractiveness of classmates at the beginning of the school year, their responses were similar, at the end very different, especially for the people they knew well.) My GF is now irresistible to me. I was endorsing kml's approach of initiating if you see a good match. Once they get to know you, they will see the beauty that everyone here sees.
