LH - would you think it reasonable to go out to a bar 4 or 5 times before meeting someone you are excited to date? That would be about 1 in 200.
I’m not sure how my statistics would have looked, but maybe similar. I looked for people with 80% match or better on the questionnaire - presumably that left out 80%. (Not that I didn’t talk to some with lower scores that contacted me, but they were never a good match I found). I eliminated those with bad grammar - although I don’t need someone with a formal education, I DO need someone who is smart. Then eliminated the ones I clearly didn’t think I could find attractive IRL, or the ones that were weird (the guy in his bathrobe holding a live duck comes to mind!) . Eliminated the ones that had dealbreakers in their profiles (smokers, right wing conservatives, guys who haven’t listened to any new music since 1969, obvious misogynists, nude bathroom mirror selfies ). Eliminated those with young children. Eliminated those whose passion was boating (I have the world’s worst seasickness!).
So maybe the key to success IS being picky? At least, in winnowing down to a pile of likely candidates that you’re more likely to click with? All the guys I ended up dating that I met through OLD were smart. (Even crazy ExBF, although woefully undereducated, was smart in many ways. Spa Guy, although he only had a high school education, was brilliant and well- read.)
