I don’t mind the hi Jack. It all depends on what we identify as “works”. Does getting a date mean it “worked” does getting a match mean it “worked” does getting married mean it “ worked” For me personally, I don’t feel OLD has worked. The longest R o got from it was a year. I’ve went on many many dates, I’ve gotten a lot of matches. But I’m still over here single and grinding at this. Do I know people who have had LTR’s or marriage from OLD? Yes. Do I know “most” people who do? No. Is it sucking my soul dry as of now after all of these years? Yes. But I think dating in general is.
I did go on the date last night although I had a crappy day and had so much to do. Went and picked my door from Home Depot on the way. I said I didn’t need help getting it in the car. I was struggling an a bit getting it to fix and a guy in the parking lot losing the car came over and offered to help. I was very thankful. I always feel this sense of relief when I get a reminder there are still kind strangers in the world.
As for the date. He’s a nice guy. No doubt. He recently lost weight and it was apparent he’s stil hasn’t updated his wardrobe, his clothes were too big. It looked like he was playing dress up in dads closet. He did smell good though. He was perfectly a kind man. He eluded to some medical problems he had, what he used to do for a living , how he lost that job and ended up in the one he had. Went on about his “dorky” hobbies in detail and I found my mind going elsewhere, lol. I noticed I didn’t laugh at all. Not much of humor there. When we sat down, he told me he told his boys where he was going tonight and what he was doing. He said “I told them not to text for the play by play” he said they are interested because they want to see him happy. This is what I mean by too pressure! Dude, don’t tell me that! Time to Pay came and I offered to pay half. He said “ no, I am old fashioned, when I like a girl and I invite her out, k pay” and he took out his cash. Hug at the end of the night.
I tried to probe a little because I don’t understand how he has a house with a pool and a hot tub on a pizza delivery man salary. And I’m pretty sure I figured it out. His job wasn’t all that high earning before either. I think he is on social security disability and the pizza place pays him cash. Something isn’t adding up how he would have to pay alimony, because is certainly not the high earner. He was scared at COVID and just chose not to work at that time. How he survived, I don’t know. Something just wasn’t adding up.
Well, I got the text that he had a great time and wants to go out again. So now it is my responsibility to not ghost and be honest.
Yeah, it stinks when the ones you like aren’t interested or interested in real dating ( I mean, there were probably 2 of those for me) and the ones you aren’t interested in want a second date. Deja, I imagine this is much what you felt like with your guy. I mean, this guy on paper wasn’t even right for me, but the dread and zero connection is something you kind of can’t change. But I did take Valeskas suggestion and went in there with an open mind. It just didn’t end up taking a turn for the better.
