I’m supposed to meet him Thursday and my stomach is actually turning at the thought.
FWIW…that’s how I felt before my date with VP and I had a decent time. However, he was not over the top with daily texts and seemed aware of how to communicate interest without coming across as needy or insecure. If I were you, I”d probably go on my gut with this one but I do get why you feel compelled to follow through. Hopefully you are pleasantly surprised.
LH - 1 in 120?? In my experience, it’s more like 1 in 200. Honestly…the number of profiles on OLD of guys who will likely never hear back from anyone is astounding. People are not good at putting their best foot forward. Bad pictures, negative profile, misspelled and borderline illiterate write-ups or none at all. Someone has to really stand out for me to want to put forth enough effort to try to forge a connection… and by standout, I mean, decent pictures, positive profile free of f’bombs and other derogatory words, readable and giving you a tiny idea of who they are as people. I don’t think it’s that hard to do so I’m amazed at how most of the profiles fall way short of this. It’s like they want to be single for the rest of their lives.
Originally Posted by Traveller
My point was that if Ginger predetermined it's a no, it would be kinder not to meet. If she meets, I hope it's with curiosity about the top 1-3 things giving her hope and pause to minimize misunderstandings, so if he could be a match there's a date #2. And try to enjoy it for what it is--a simple evening out having fun, presumably with a handsome guy. (:
I’m on the fence about what is kinder. I do know, 100%, that ghosting is not the kind thing to do which is why I am always honest with the other person if we’ve communicated enough that we’ve either had a face-to-face meeting or planned one. If I exchange a text or two with someone on an app and they say something that is so off putting I don’t want to respond, I just delete them. Pretty sure it only bugs them for about five minutes or so…lol.
Originally Posted by Traveller
It's Ginger's feelings that matter. Choosing $$$ over his family? That's as at odds with Ginger's values as it is with mine.
I wouldn’t assume this. That was VP’s situation with his kids and he said it was because when they divorced, it made more sense given how much his XW was home compared to how much he was home. They were also living in different towns at the time which, although not too far apart, it was enough that it would have created some significant issues with getting them to school on time, etc… Now that he lives in the same town as them, he says he would prefer 50/50 but his kids are used to the arrangement (they are teens now) and they prefer it. He only lives a five minute walk away, however, so they can stop by whenever they want (they often do when they are walking their dog) and when they are with him, they are his total focus. He also goes to their extracurricular activities and helps to get them there. So I wouldn’t assume he is less of a dad because he doesn’t share custody or that he chose that arrangements for selfish reasons. Sometimes it just works better for the kids. They don’t have to be living with you for you to be an involved father.
I feel for you Ginger. I know how tough it is trying to make a connection from nothing. I feel for this guy too. It could be he was accused of being too standoffish in the past and is trying to be different although I would probably be feeling the same way if I was you and getting an 8:10 text every morning without having met face to face yet. If you had met already and you really liked him, I’m sure you would look at the daily text a lot differently. I know I would.
