I am struggling with it because things were a lot better for the most part with us but recently I had dropped ball,a few time by being tired a few nights and not being able to stay awake when she need to talk about stuff. I apologized but unfortunately it I believe brought up the past resentment and caused thing to trigger again.
This smacks of putting her needs (to talk) above your needs (for rest). Putting her needs above your own is a great way to become her best friend. It is an awful way to command her respect and be the man she needs you to be. It is a sure sign of Nice Guy Syndrome. Have you ever read No More Mr. Nice Guy? I would suggest giving it a read.
"Nicing" her back or to get her to stay is not in your best interest long-term. If you've turned into a Mr. Nice GUy after she left 3 years ago then all you were doing is setting yourself for a future (now the most recent) BD.
I did go back and read your last thread. You made one post then disappeared from the forum. So it begs the question, what work did you do after she came back? What work did you demand from her? Dink, I can relate to all of this because I made a similar mistake in my MR. in 2005 we had our first situation. She immediately said she didn't want a divorce and she went into a resistant recovery mode. I became Mr. Stepford Husband. After a while that wasn't sustainable, and since we didn't do the work necessary to really heal the MR, 12 years later we were right back into a similar situation, this time she said she wanted a D.
Have you read Divorce Busting and/or Divorce Remedy?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
