My wife last week told me she wanted a divorce. About three years ago she said the same thing and move to a apartment for about four months. I of course was a mess and pursued her and did what ever I could to win her back. I had a affair about 13 years prior and never told a single person about it. The down side to this was that I was consumed by guilt for what I did. Then shortly after the affair ended my only brother passed away and then shortly after that my dad passed away. For like 8 years I was total detached with the marriage for the most part because of my guilt and grieving from the two deaths. She even warned me at times if something didn’t change something bad was going to happen, well it did/ she had a affair, this was in 2017. I found out and she told me she didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. At this time I still had never told her about my affair but she said that I have neglected her to long and she knows that I had to have had a affair because I was so distant for years and she ask me many time and I always denied it. After I found out about her affair she again asked for the truth and I finally admitted to her about my affair. She lost it and things were bad. She stayed for a while after I found out about her affair and after finally coming clean about mine. After a while though she said she didn’t love me anymore because of the past 9 years being so emotionally void. When she moved to the apartment I was a mess, worse I have ever been in my life. I did everything wrong and she was still talking with other guy. I even offered buying a little house on a lake because she always wanted that and loved being by water. we ended up getting back together and we bought the lake house, while still having our other house. I inherited some money after my dad passed and used it to buy the lake house thinking it Would help us reconnect and work on our marriage. Now three years later she is asking for a divorce again stating she can’t get pass the past. She said she has forgiven me for the affair but can not get pass the 9 years of feeling like she did it changed her heart. The last 3 years she said she has love for me again and stated I have become the husband she always wanted now over the three years, she just can't get past these feeling from those years, it has left a hole in her heart. She said she decide to come back originally because I said i wouldn't be able to be friends with her and do stuff as family originally and she said that scared her, because I am her best friend and couldn't picture me not in her life. We have three kids 30, 27, 25 and a recent new 1st grandchild .
Also in the last 5 months her dad has passed away, and her mother had to have heart surgery, so a lot of emotional stuff going on lately. I'm at a lost of what to do if anything.