we're done again (#3)

[mako]

Validate the youngest, relating to her emotions. Same with the others. One of the best skills to have, teach them.
Glad your oldest is in IC. IC is great for the kids. One of mine children is more "healthy" than I due to effective IC.


Mine were 5,7,9 @ time of Divorce. 19,21,22 now. Every other week with me. They are doing well, but you never really know how D truly effects. them. We all just do our best to love them and get them ready to be out in the real world. This experience may toughen them up earlier than we would like, but they may be able to deal with other issues in the future much better.


Glad to see an update!

Wish you well,
R2C

Thanks for this. Yours were pretty close to where mine are. I know kids of D turn out fine all the time, but it's still nice to hear about. I'll never know how D really affected them, how they would have turned out otherwise, so it's pointless to worry about. As you say, all we can do is give them all the love we can and prepare them for the world.

Yes, I do validate all of them. That's a positive of all this, DBing gets you into working on that so I am better at it than I used to be.

Do you interact with her different now? And probably more important, women in general?

I treat her like a coworker that I don't particularly like. She gets all the business and logistical info she needs in a professional manner. I don't joke around with her or show her much personality. I don't initiate contact unless I need something from her such as kids or financial related. She will still vent to me about things, rarely, mostly about work but sometimes about how hard life is lately. I validate these things.

Women in general, I suppose I'm more open with than I used to be, I'm willing to show more personality with random people than when I was still "married." For example I chatted with a woman for 15 minutes at the day care the other day, that would never have happened before most likely. Like I said I have no interest in dating at the moment, but it's good, I can use the practice.