Dearest G, I am so sorry that I am late to reply. I am even more sorry that you have been put through the wringer again (and again, and again, ad nauseam). You do not deserve this. You did not earn this. You are good and want recognition for the good you have done and the hard work you have performed with your life and your children and like all humans, you just want validation.
The judge didn't give you this. But that does not mean a speck of dust in the universe, because she is only one human among almost 8 billion on this planet. Sadly, her judgment has an impact on you. And ripples outwards to effect so many arenas of your life (familial, financial, a sense of personal safety). I ache for you. And wish to steady you in the troughs of the oncoming waves.
For some reason unknown to us all, the universe, God, whom- or whatever, has determined that you are to experience these lessons. Unfair as they may be. As much as we all cringe (and cry) with sympathy at your disastrous, horrible situation. Personally, I think these lessons are there to make you even more magical that you already are. Because, if you can live through what you have lived through and still get out of bed, and still love your children, and still be a human on this earth, you must be made of some sort of magic.
So what's left to learn? What will you do with this? I say you become a master in jiu-jistu. Deflect all this wrong by being an impermeable, magical creature of epic proportions. Nothing can hurt you. You pick yourself up, dust off those pretty britches and sally-forth into the life you deserve, the one you have been slowly brick-by-brick building for yourself. Those judges and that evil ex of yours can take away your physical wealth and attempt to confuse the affection of your children (not very well, I may add), but they can only take away your heart and soul and being if you let them. Don't let them, G.
Win by not winning. Win by accord of honoring your own life and fulfilling the destiny you were put here to pursue, irregardless of the obstacles put in your path. Win despite the hardship and horrific abuse and awful judges. Because you are so mighty. And I think deep down, you know it.
