Don… Do you seriously think it is okay for XH and OW to have hunted down this site and read every single one of my posts? This isn’t FaceBook. This is an anonymous forum for people to support one another in getting through one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives. If you aren’t going through something like that, why in the world would you ever come on here? And why would you search out the thread of the one person whose life you almost destroyed? Morbid curiosity? Revelling in the pain you had caused? I that something you would do because it definitely isn’t something I would do. Just like I wouldn’t go into my daughter’s room and read her diary. Technically, I could, because it’s my house and she’s leaving it lying around for me to see but I wouldn’t because that would be a violation of her privacy.

Maybe you are reacting to the word “diary”…perhaps support/therapy group would be more accurate? Do you think it would be okay for them to attend my support group and sit in the back row listening to every word I say and not tell me they were there because that is essentially what they did. They each read over 1,000 posts and then confronted me on it after we were divorced and I was starting to write about my relationships with other people. If they were being honest in ANY WAY, they would have told me as soon as they found it that they had seen it and let me make up my mind about whether or not I wanted to stay on here. But they didn’t… she texted me way, way, way after the fact. Why? Because they were using the information to manipulate the situation. Thinking back, there were a number of times that I would write something and then a day or two later, XH would do or say something to counteract what I had written. For example, I remember saying at about month three when he was still giving me the impression that he was “thinking things over” and could possibly return to work things out, I commented in one of my posts that I didn’t think he was organized enough to have consulted a lawyer. Less than a week later, he presented me with a separation agreement saying… “I know you don’t think I am organized enough…”. I never, ever told him anything like that. He read that on here.

You’re right in one regard… this is the internet and technically/legally, they can come on here if they want to. But is it morally okay? Definitely not. It’s completely offside and as BL said, classless.