Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, OW Affairs MLC? the Lot

[AnnKay]

Thank you, BL42 for your inputs. I realise I need to sit down on a lot of the thoughts I have at the moment.

This could very well be about him and not you. It's quite possible you could be the absolute perfect woman in the world and he would still act this way. A person's bad actions are often more about their own issues than yours. It's a balance. Do take time to honestly reflect on areas you can improve as a person, especially in relation to the marriage

I understand this is what I need to do. I spoke with my DB coach yesterday and it is clear I will have to come up with an action plan to improve myself that will put my son and myself in the centre, without my H.

After saying I am going to go to do the test when it suits me no matter what, H insisted that he drives me there and stays with me. I think this is another control aspect as when he thinks he is losing control with me not relying on him he feels he has no reason to give in.

Imo it's OK if you let him go and OK if you decide to do it without him, just make sure you're comfortable emotionally and then stick to your guns.

I did end up going with him, but he did not stay and he picked me up. I think I feel more comfortable with this option. He is the dad, and I was able to still maintain some space as he was not there all through the 2 hours test period.

Good you stood up for yourself verbally, but also know you can't control what he does so you saying that doesn't stop him from love bomb texting again. The question how will you enforce this boundary if he does it again? What will your actions be?

Honestly I have not thought about this, aside from either ignoring him or telling him to stop again.

To me this sounds like emotional manipulation on his part. I'm sure you have a lot of hormones and emotions and feel vulnerable being pregnant with his baby. I don't know what the "right" response is - maybe others do - but don't let him manipulate him. Remember, he's living with another woman. I think you should give a lot of thought to what your boundaries are and how you will enforce them so that when he insists on driving you to an appointment, or love bombs you with texts, or kisses your hands and strokes your belly you know in advance how you will respond with actions and are firm about it.

I think I do need to re-read the section on boundaries and sit on it.