And not to hi Jack, DV seems to have very healthy boundaries. I had mine when my D and OW wanted me to go to a hockey game with them. I couldn’t do it. So I sent my daughter, with her to go watch OUR sport, and even leant OW a team shirt because my D asked me too. Did it hurt me for them to share what my daughter and I have as our special thing. Yup. Did it make me happy she was able to bring my daughter to a her favorite sporting event? Yes.
It’s not easy. And it’s not linear with feelings
This is a great example of what I’m talking about Ginger. It is not black and white and it is not linear. Like you, most of the time, I am just fine but I do have triggers and I’m honest about that. That’s why I am grateful for this forum. If it didn’t exist, I might have sent that passive aggressive text and then regretted it the next morning because I do want to keep things cordial between us. But I learned a long time ago that sometimes it is just better to do nothing which is what I did and today I feel good about it. I think your decision to send your D despite your inner pain around it illustrates just how amazing of a mother you are. Your boundaries are just fine, IMO. (((HUGS)))
