WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont11.)

[BL42]

wayfarer,

As I said before every Arch is different...My reasoning for telling Scott to talk to some one is 1) to see what his chances are and 2) understand the process fully before starting because it's an obnoxiously tedious process.

True, you qualified your comments with "every Arch is different" and I can't disagree with meeting with a priest or deacon up front to better understand the process, but you also said:

I know what the annulment paperwork looks like. And you are wasting your time my friend.

If you want to at least try for your own peace of mind, by all means, but IMO it's an exercise in futility.

But a Catholic annulment is incredibly rare. Even now.

When you tell ScottB & taz they're "wasting time", it's "an exercise in futility", and they're "incredibly rare even now", you're at best not accurately describing the likelihood of an annulment and at worst grossly misleading folks. I wouldn't want folks reading through to get an inaccurate view.

So I started working through the annulment paperwork with the Catholic Church. It’s got 30 questions and it found some of the to be really good and insightful, though a bit sad.

I would describe it like an investigation of a crime scene or an old fashioned school report on the marriage. It includes detailed questions about courtship, family of orgin, communication styles, and the history of the marriage.

It will take me hours to complete properly but I’m already learning and seeing places where the marriage failed and where I failed in the marriage that I hadn’t recognized before and I wish I had.

Personally I have not pursued an annulment (to my mother's disappointment, I'm sure LOL). My view is we did make vows and lived together for 7 years as spouses and had two kids together, so it's silly to pretend a marriage never existed. However, I honestly never thought about the angle of a deep dive into the marital issues and learning and growing from that and ScottB's description of the process and its benefits has some appeal. If for nothing else to improve for the future. After all, that's a big part of why a lot of us are still here on this board.