I later learned that the name for his behaviour was gaslighting and he was/is a master at it. Listen to your intuition when it comes to things like this. Unlike your H, it doesn’t lie to you.
I realise now this is also gaslighting. H accused me of all sorts of things when he left that are just untrue but made me feel as if it was my fault. He accused me of not being as 'active' as OW. I run 4 times a week and do pilates and yoga twice a week. He accused me of not letting me have his own time, yet I was OK with him playing sports away from home hours at a time. He plays cricket so one game will take up to 8 hours. We also go out at least once every week separately with our own circles. I kind of see now that I was probably too trusting and he is treating me like pushover.
