My Story P4...Acceptance of the MLC Madness

[BL42]

Eagle3,

I don't think LH was trying to personally insult you. I'll second what Giner1 says that maybe it's a cultural / language barrier.

The full quote is "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” and is often attributed to Albert Einstein though the true origins are unclear.

Not that you are insane or a bad person, but what LH was getting at is shown right here in what you wrote in response:

The only thing I didn't do was give him up on him emotionally, for 3 years I picked him up when he fell hard. And yes, that was wrong, but if you have shared your life with someone for 18 years, it is very difficult to let that person down. Like DnJ said, he keeps coming back, and I've allowed this. Only the last time he came back (this was 2 months ago) he said that he did not come back to save our M, but because he was so stuck and needed a safe place to land. His actions and words the first weeks told the opposite, however, in the last weeks a complete turnaround (wanting back to OW2, expression of aggression, etc.) which made me realize that I have done enough for him.

Mentally I have made the right decisions, emotionally until recently not. Yes, that was because I loved him deeply.

You're saying you were (maybe are?) still emotionally attached after 3 years and repeatedly welcoming him back, so LH is saying you can't expect different results if you keep doing that same action.

Ground Hogs day is a movie where a guy wakes up and lives the same day every day without anything changing.

Interestingly...the movie LH references is an apt analogy for this board. A good DB study. Groundhog Day is a romantic comedy from the '90s starting Bill Murray. It's pretty funny and worth watching for anyone who hasn't. IMO the plot actually closely follows the script of a DB'ing effort we promote.

Murray's character is a pompous jerk to those people he interacts with, including his (female) co-worker. He gets stuck in this small town where he relives the same exact day over and over and over again. However, over time HE changes. He learns to take an interest in and care for others (his friend the insurance salesman, saves the kid from the tree, feeds the homeless man), he works to improve himself (takes piano lessons, reads poetry, learns the heimlich...etc.), becomes a better man and only then ends up attracting his love interest.

I'd be curious what others who have seen it think.