Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, OW Affairs MLC? the Lot

[BL42]

AnnKay,

How did you remain positive in caring for your children while grieving for your own marriage?

It was very difficult for awhile. I went through a period of depression. Fortunately I have family in town who helped a great deal. Also getting out with friends and doing activities helped me get a lot more positive. I'm sure it's difficult being 6 months pregnant in a new country but maybe there's a pregnant/new moms group you could join for support and to make friends?

And yes, he had been depressed and left me in the past, but this is all before we were married. So far, he had a good 8 years without showing symptoms of being depressed.

This was a missed red flag. You thought it was done or once you got married you'd be together for good, but these things often resurface and leaving you in the past was a sign of what might come in the future. Learn from it.

H was always fussy about me and his phone, accusing me for not trusting him. I know now!

The WS often redirects the blame and projects their trust issues on their spouse.

How was it possible for your wife to hide her affair despite you always having access to her phone?

Well she didn't hide it very well. I suspected almost immediately something was up and verified it very quickly. But she kept on doing it and we had a 4yo and 1yo at home so I was afraid at losing my family.

It can sometimes feel to me now that H is finally truly happy and having the time of his life with the person he wants to be with, and I am at a dark corner struggling to survive.

He might be very happy...for now. Or he might be incredibly confused. If he struggles with depression and is having an affair on his pregnant wife chances are he's not going to run off into the sunset. It can seem like they're happy on the surface but really they're torn up on the inside.

I am still thinking about this. I have spoken to a lawyer and was advised at the moment there will not be any complications. I am quite happy here, however, aside from not enough support system. My job is paying quite well and I do not think I will get something similar in the UK. I cannot bear the thought of restarting, at least for the time being. I also do not like the thought of moving my son to a place that is 'foreign' to him. He goes to day care and has a lot of friends from there, so I will hate him to miss out on that. I will probably go back for a period of time, maybe few months after the baby is born, but not sure if I will stay there longer.

Your son is very young and will adjust. I'm not saying you should move. I'm just saying you may have a window of opportunity to do so now whereas that could close in the future, so definitely weigh the pros and cons.

1. I am supposed to have a Gestational Diabetes test that will normally take at least 2 hours this week or the next.

Ask a friend.

We are coming into Labour Day long weekend, and I had loosely planned to do a girl’s staycation with some of my friends. My H has agreed to watch my son 2 days out of the 3 day weekend. I am now a bit unsure if this is too much, although he seemed to be happy to do it. I just fear that I am missing something here, otherwise, why would he suddenly be so agreeable?

Don't over think it. It's your son's father he can care for him for two days. Take the break you need and enjoy time with friends.