My now ExW was off having an affair while I was caring for our 4yo and 1yo, so that was young, but I'm sure being pregnant while your H has moved out is even more difficult.
Thank you for sharing this, BL42. I am sorry that you had to go through your situation. It sounds very hard and unfair. How did you remain positive in caring for your children while grieving for your own marriage?
Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by AnnKay
H 46 W (me) 39 Together 12 years Married 8 Years Son 3 6 months pregnant with D BD early July 2021 finally left 15/09/2021 came back 19/10/2021 left 2nd time 9/01/2022
Help with the timeline...you got pregnant after the first BD and sometime around when he first moved out? Were you actively trying to conceive when you knew he was having an affair?
We were actively trying from end of 2019. Full disclosure, I had previously been diagnosed with Endometriosis, and since early 2021 was suggested to either have a procedure or resort to IVF if we were still interested in being pregnant again. I did not have either, so I honestly did not think I could be pregnant naturally. To answer your question, I did not try to be pregnant to "lock him down," when I did not think that being pregnant was a possibility. I am sure however, that that's what H thinks.
Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by AnnKay
I had a list of things he needed to do before he came back, including getting new wedding rings, getting counselling and getting psychologist for him.
A good start. What else?
At that time, he needed to also secure a bigger house now that the family is growing and get a psychiatrist to really help him sort out his mental health issues. And yes, he had been depressed and left me in the past, but this is all before we were married. So far, he had a good 8 years without showing symptoms of being depressed.
Originally Posted by BL42
So the phone is always a MAJOR red flag. Now you know for the future. My wife and I always picked up each others phones to answer a call, or take a picture, or show a video to our kids. All of a sudden...
H was always fussy about me and his phone, accusing me for not trusting him. I know now! How was it possible for your wife to hide her affair despite you always having access to her phone?
Originally Posted by BL42
If he wants to be with OW, let him. You can't stop him anyway. Btw...it likely won't end well for the two of them, but unfortunately it might blow up your world in the meantime.
Thank you for this, BL42. It can sometimes feel to me now that H is finally truly happy and having the time of his life with the person he wants to be with, and I am at a dark corner struggling to survive.
