For the record I do believe that everyone here typically learns the hard way. We try to minimize the pain as much as possible. I was just curious why after everything you went through why you would tell Stella to do things when she’s ready. Some people are never ready and end up stuck here for years. Enforcing boundaries are hard but the quicker you do it the faster you see results.
You are going to be fine Eagle I think you have finally had enough.
I'm not sure I agree with the implication of the 'typically learns the hard way' statement, and here's why. This is a Divorce Busting website. Presumably we all came here to try to save our marriages. I know I did. I speak only for myself when I say that it's very difficult to re-train yourself after half a lifetime of being with someone, caring for them, factoring their needs into the needs of the family. Suddenly I had to put myself first, when I'd spent 26 years putting our relationship first. Really hard to switch that up on a dime. So, you can call it learning the hard way. I call it unwinding from the relationship and learning how to put myself first again. Takes time. Takes practice. No pain, no gain.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
