Legally separated, in our homes...Part 3

[BL42]

Mach40,

She is a workaholic, a real one, and when she plans something she executes it. Her plan was to become self sufficient, aggressively get a retirement and pay off anew home she bought. That will take up 95% of her life. The other 5 % will be her Dad, Daughters, grand kids and sister.

Any chance you're both workaholics, and that contributed? I notice you wrote this...

No real GAL due to work. 6 days a week takes its tole on you on the road.

I do have positives. My daughters and grand kids are doing great.

Yes, absolutely. Kids (and grandkids in your case) are always the caveats in a sitch...even when people feel like they wish they'd never met their ex, it's hard to wish away the kids!

I did start remodeling the house before I left. Painted interior. Totally transformed my home. That will keep me busy when I get back. Furniture, decorations etc. Whole house man cave?

That's awesome! I did a number of updates to the house as well. Keeps you busy, makes the place "your own", and self-improvements give a sense of accomplishment.

And its a little tougher when you will see your kids and grand kids. They are daily reminders.

When I see my kids it's a reminder to me that no matter whatever $hit we put each other through we did do something right.

Love LH's attitude on this...flips the narrative.

It struck me when you said you were both sad because it kind of frustrates me. When a WAS has the power to right the ship, and despite sadness and misgivings continues to push forward for D, it always makes me wonder why? A lot of WASs are flawed human-beings looking for a quick fix to their unhappiness, and ending a MR is that quick fix.

This is frustrating. Seems like a better world if both would commit as promise and work through it.

Regrets are things that happened that I could have changed. When you are ignorant, not aware of things, then they are revealed to you, it is bothersome. So, I know there are things I could have done that would have changed the outcome, but didnt, because I was ignorant to them SO that is a regret.

We are all right there with you Mach and you need to find away to forgive yourself. You did the best you could with the info that you had at the time. You will be a great partner for someone else down the road or maybe your STBXW changes her mind. Chin up and tits out!

Completely agree w/LH here. Forgive yourself and improve for the future. That's all you can do.

I love to see LBSs learn from things whether or not the MR is saved.

Also agree w/SteveLW. We can see you reflecting and trying to improve. Good to see.

Hang in there Mach40 and keep us posted.