As I said before every Arch is different. My Arch in particular makes it difficult. Like unreasonably difficult but I also don't know anyone who's gone through the process since Pope Francis put the onus on Arches to make is less costly and difficult. My reasoning for telling Scott to talk to some one is 1) to see what his chances are and 2) understand the process fully before starting because it's an obnoxiously tedious process. It's best to know what it's like going in and to not have to play catch up once you've already started the process, or it will drag out.
Scott,
That entire post was amazing and you've come a long, long way from the guy who first got here.
As to exW, she's still very much a broken person and you are well beyond that broken version of yourself. You've clearly done a much better job at taking an absolutely sh!t situation and turning it into a moment of growth. Take pat on the back for that and exercise her a little grace, even if she doesn't really deserve it. In her state of mind "life" throwing things at her all feel the same even if a lot of it is of her own making. You hit the nail on the head, she's going to have to do a lot of work to do to see the nature of things in order to fix herself and the way she feels. And I pray for the sake of your kids she does too.
