WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont11.)

[LH19]

In the marriage, I wasn't perfect. I needed to be more empathetic, I needed to learn to listen better, I needed to help around the house more, I needed to be more sensitive. As a person I needed and still need to work on feeling my emotions. I need to be less competitive and more compassionate. I could write novels on how I could and can continue to improve -- And I was trying and still am. Again, I was no where near perfect. But I have a belief that no one is, and no marriage is, and that the issues you have are the issues you will have, so you might as well stay and get to work.

This is good stuff Scotty B. I and just about every guy on the board can relate to this post. Keep working on it.

I watch her and see how much she breaks down; not just about the marriage, but in regards to her general life, and its very sad for me.

It is sad but you have to let her tend her own stuff now.

She replied "Thank you. Honestly, I'm not ok. Yesterday was one of the toughest days of my life. I just feel like I can't keep my head above water with all the sh!t life keeps throwing at me. I don't even have time to process one thing before the next bad thing happens. Appreciate the kind words. I wanted to reach out yesterday but I couldn't find the words and the I got the news about grandma."

This was actually a pretty thoughtful response here.

I replied "It was a hard day. Words struggle to capture it all."

I think you should have left out the last sentence.

I don't know what she meant by the sh!t life keeps throwing at her.

Scotty B she just got divorced and her grandmother died. You might want to double down on the empathy work lol.

So LH, I think she is on a search for happiness. She thinks now she can own it and make it happen.

This for sure has a lot to do with it.

And I hope so, for the sake of my kids.

I agree.

I'll admit to some schadenfreude - where a small part of me gets pleasure from seeing her struggle - that "I told you so" part - but overall I would like her to find happiness.

That's ok Scotty B. DNJ is our most forgiving member and he admits to the same thing.

I just don't think its in the cards for her unless she stops to do some serious internal work, and in my experience she's not willing to do that.

I can not disagree with the statement.