Steve, Physical abuse and cheating aren't the only reasons a person can make you miserable. You personally wouldn't be here if that were the case, now would you? I have no idea if Scott wasa good guy to his wife their entire MR. I don't know Scott personally. I only know what Scott tells me, and I wasn't married to Scott. And you don't really know what happened either. In fact even IRL the only people who really, really know what happened are the two people who lived in that MR. However, I do know that there are a lot more valid reasons to want out from a marriage other than cheating and abuse. And that good people are fully capable of making other people miserable, of missing or ignore others needs or becoming so self involved no one else's needs matter.
Being with a person who takes you for granted OR who puts in no effort when you put all the effort in OR person who gives you money and thinks that enough or conversely a person who thinks you're a bank and nothing else OR a person who doesn't recognize the mental and emotional labor load you carry in your household OR a person who emotional manipulates you OR financially abuses you OR thinks you are a sexual vending machine are all pretty awful people to be married to even if they are in every other aspect are good people. I wouldn't want to be married to people like this and neither would you.
WAS/WS are human beings. Whether you like it or not. Whether you believe it or not. They have feelings. They are entitled to their feelings. And more often than not a lot of those feelings are genuine. You can choose to believe that she's some psychotic cheating liar if you want. Scott's given a lot of evidence to the contrary. I choose to believe she was sad and hurting so she cried. I cant possible know what about, or if it was genuine or not, but based on my own life experience I choose to believe they were genuine tears.
I do not disagree with anything you say here! So I hope you don't think that. I do think WAS and WS in particular, tend to be the most illogical, flakey creatures on planet earth. You mention my own situation and I can say, even though I was a pretty awful husband, my WW's words and deeds rarely made sense. I can remember shortly after BD, with her in full "I want a D" mode, saying to me about some friends of ours "We should invite them over to hang out, I've always really liked them." HUH?
I even remember one time I pointed out when she said something that sent a mixed message, she said "I don't know what I want from minute to minute!"
I too do not know Scott above what he has posted here. He sure seems like a good guy though. I stand by what I said, that his ex is going to live to regret letting him go. But yes I have a tough time having empathy for people that so obviously have chosen their path and then act like they are the victim. That is my read on her tears at the proceeding. Maybe I am wrong and she was mourning what COULD have been. Scott is right, most little girls do not ponder their dream divorce. But she pushed down a path with a lot of obstacles on her way to Monday, and consciously cleared each hurdle along the way.
WF, I do find it funny though, just an observation, but you are essentially telling me to have some sympathy for Scott's ex (which I do not), but then tell me what I would or wouldn't want.
In short, you are entitled to your opinion about the sincerity of her tears. And I am to mine. Peace.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
