#19 - Still working through Ring & Piecing

[Elbereth]

I’m still pretty much a newbie here compared to many of you. But I wanted to add a few comments based on what I’ve experienced thus far on this site.

PROs:

• As DB is not really out there promoting new content or new releases and there is so much other content out there, google is pushing it down. It’s the way google works, and keeping rank requires activity (linking/relinking) and or funds invested (keywords) and more. This is an issue, yes, but it’s not a sign of the lack of quality of this forum. It’s completely separate.
• The forum is public so many more people are being helped than you know even if they have not joined the forum. I’m amazed when I see the number of anonymous users on the site daily.
• There is so much value in seeing what others have gone through and these threads provide more than just glimpses like a book would. You can see changes over time as well as many more examples that you can relate to.
• There are many of you that continue to remain on this forum to offer support to the newbies. This is hugely valuable. Newbies can support each other but that is different than the guidance that those who have come before us can provide.

CONs:

• Sometimes the infighting over who’s advice is good or bad is a distraction. What is good for one is not good for another and vice versa. Sure, I’ve been offended by some of the advice given to me. And I have a feeling I have offended some others too. It is really hard when all we have are words on a page and we cannot see faces or sense the true emotion. It takes careful attention to try to read when one’s advice or 2x4s are aligned or not. I think seeing the responses to the others on the thread can help to show what advice style is working best for that person.
• The fact that this forum is public is part of the reason numbers might be dropping. With the internet mining and lack of privacy, it is very intimidating to discuss your sitch out here with details that might lead someone to identify the user as you, and use that against you in court, in relationships, or whatever.
• The forum program is outdated, hard to use on mobile devices and not slick like many other new options.

I’m sure I could come up with more, but that is a short list.

For me, this forum has been a lifesaver. I also wish I had known about it sooner. But no one really hunts down DBing book when things are going well. They find it when MRs are collapsing and may never be saved. So this site is really about saving ourselves and finding our own way. But that isn’t what the LBS is feeling when they arrive. You all have helped me to see that I must save myself. You all have also helped me to become a better partner for my next relationship. I am grateful. So very grateful. Thank you!

El