WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Divorced Anyway (6)

[BL42]

OnlyBent,

My fear of losing out on their lives is not as bad as I initially thought

In hindsight do you think this fear, initially, is somewhat based on trying to make the WS the bad guy or blame them?

I really don't think so. To me the two are separate. Many people going through a D are concerned about losing half (or more) of their children's lives whether or not they're stuck on blaming the other spouse.

BL, you seem like you are doing pretty well re family, job, social life. I know dating is a bit hard in your small town, have you thought about how you'll attack this or do you even care right now?

Dating's been low on my priority list - I've mostly been focusing on the kids and also my own self improvement - but I am interested in exploring it more at this point.

In terms of a strategy, I did sign up for OLD a few months after the D finalized. I swipe through but have gotten very little response for some reason. One factor I think hurts me is although I have a very good career, I work at home / virtually with people from all over country and have no chance to interact with anyone in person during the majority of my day like those in another field interacting in-person regularly. Coaching S6's sports teams has led me to meeting a lot of parents and kids and expanded my network so maybe something will surface there. Some of my other activities like adult soccer league and golf league are male-dominated, so not sure if other more coed activities would help.

To your question about whether I even care...there's certainly part of me that's lonely at times and misses the interaction with a significant other, no doubt. So I care in that regard. There's also another part of me that might be a little apathetic though. The other night D3 was having a very hard time with the transition and I had to console her for a long time and I thought how can I possibly date while this is going on in their lives (both because they deserve the focus, and also because what woman would want to jump into a situation like that). There's also a friend of a friend who was at brunch with us Sunday who I can tell (and have been told by my friends) is very interested in me. She's very nice and cute but not sure why I'm not overly enthusiastic, either I'm not feeling it with her specifically or maybe dating in general.