KK on the surface nothing has changed as far as the pilot and your ex husband seem to be the main focus as far as men go in your life. That doesn't mean that you haven't changed but you must admit that you are clearly not seeing patterns that are obvious to us.
I think you actually had the best explanation why the board has changed. I am also curious to the 3 reasons why people leave marriages that you cited. I have also read about 3 and curious to if they are the same. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mind sharing.
Do you think you ever really had anytime to grieve the end of your marriage?
It seems that way because I came back and shared my story at this particular time. 3mo ago or 6mo later... different story.
I never expected pilot to reach out again. I had written him off. I liked him enough the last time to try again. I just got burned a second time and that [censored], but I'm okay because what if it had worked out? Wouldn't that have been amazing? I'm that person. The glass is half full.
As for my EX. I was done. I had written him off the beginning of last July. He would text and I replied only via email. He would text me in response to that email... I waited until I could email him again. I was DONE. Then I got a text that was different... so I took a chance. And, EX was different. Was he trusting enough to think that things would stay different that he stopped the D. He did not... but he kept coming round after the D. He would ramp up his texting when I left town. I got to a point where I realized I wasn't getting what I needed. Right now there is nothing but space between us. It will stay that way until he ever decides he wants it to be different again... and if I'm available we'll see BUT, I am not putting my life on hold for him.
So I was letting my M go but I suppose they feel some rift in the force and come back just to make sure you're moving on just yet... because you never know... they may have made a mistake.
As for the reasons people divorce. They are quite simple. I do not feel you like me. I do not feel you love me. I do not feel you respect me. Research documented by Gottman.
I may have not like my XH at times but I always loved him and did my best to respect. BUT, the key factor is my XH did not feel those things from me. No matter how many things I could list that I do for him... he felt those things were hung over his head and didn't truly feel what he need to. I accept that. I accept at the time we did not have the proper communication tools. Its easy to get into a rut.
I thought we were slowly getting there - esp in December. But, he's pulled back again. And, just like Pilot I'm not chasing him either. He knows where to find me.
