I've been on dates and there will be light texting after the date but I really leave it up to the guy to pursue asking me out again. Sometimes they just don't for whatever reason and I let them go.
I don't bat an eye, shed a tear or give a flying F.
KK, when I read this I'm like.. hmm.. your "instant chemistry" picker led you to pilot and before that you were with xh. Those were toxic relationships. Logically, your picker like mine may be off. It may be worth giving people you don't feel instant chemistry with an extra date or two, and people you do feel instant chemistry with an extra date or two before intimacy is on the table? That probably makes good sense to your intellectual mind, right? Just throwing it out there. (:
I do believe you're compassionate, creative, and smart--you deserve better partners!
Originally Posted by KitKat
[quote=KitKat]I had a couple of dates with a guy. He was wanting something more serious committed than where I was out with him. I didn't know him that well but I didn't want to hold him back from what he was looking for. I bowed out and wished him well. He came back all apologetic that he was chasing the wrong thing. We went out again but I was a point where I just said I'm focusing on tidying up my D. We were in the last 90 days after a year and 1/2 of limbo. I was focusing more on friendship and having fun... taking the time to get to know someone before being committed. Again, he was wanting a bigger commitment and said so... I let him go again.
You had a couple of good dates and he says, "I'm looking for a committed relationship." You weren't ready then--cool. "For now, I just want to have fun and see what happens." I'm going to propose bowing out wasn't entirely *for him* to keep from *holding him back*. All you had to do to achieve that is communicate what you were open to. He's then empowered to continue if and only if he feels it's worth the risk. It sounds like he felt you were worth the risk. Stating your boundaries and letting others decide if it works for them is strong, vulnerable. Ceding some control. Anyway, I seem to recall there were other things amiss about that particular guy so I believe you made the right move for you. Just a thought for the next time around!
