Watched an interesting short video on youtube last night. The young man was saying that when a woman breaks up with you, you should not react. His example was that the woman says "I think we should break up." His suggestion was that your response should be "Okay."
His point was that when you do not react the way she expects (to get emotional, to ask why, to beg, plead, reason) then she immediately starts to question herself. He claimed in the majority of cases they would say "I shouldn't have said that! I was just joking! I wanted to see what you reaction was." Or some variation therein.
This matches up perfectly with the advice of the forum. IF a LBS could remain neutral from second one, it would completely change the dynamic of their situation. Even the most determined WAS would start to wonder if they were doing the right thing. The emotional reaction that they expect just confirms for them that they are doing the right thing. They've prepared for that emotional reaction. They've probably played it over in their head before dropping the bomb.
I can say in my latest situation, that after 2 days of making the mistake of being emotional and reacting the way she expected me to, I remember MWD and her writings, and started to pull back from that. And the lack of surety on my wife's part was almost immediate after I started to back off and have more of an "okay" reaction. I believe that was a factor in my situation turning around more quickly than most.
Unfortunately, most LBS that find their way here have already made the mistake of reacting emotionally for weeks and months.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
