So he was coming home from a long week out of town and asked about meeting up eluding to also having sex.
I replied that I was available Saturday but I was looking for more than a hook up. When he got back to me the next day he stated no one said anything about a hook up and that me wanted to make me cum multiple times.
NOW - I get it. We've dated before, but we've only been on 2 dates. While I'm wildly attracted to him and have had a very sexual relationship before, I'm just moving more cautiously. I don't want to screw this up. You know from my past posts that I have no issue being wild and daring. I've sent him plenty of visual texts in the past, etc.
I let him know I did not want to say "no" to his offer but that I was looking for more. For an example I just stated I'd like to know what the weirdest part of his week was or what kind of goals for summer time. This was a very poorly worded text trying to hide my insecurities... that while I truly desired him I just wasn't at the next step.
Well we are talking text messages - 7% of communication tops.
After coming home from a long week he took that to mean I could not have sex unless I asked him 50 questions? and that he had no interest in that if someone could not be willing to show up with a drink naked when he first got home and wait 24hr before questions.
Whoa... I totally get that. That was not my intent at all.
I tried apologizing for miscommunicating and just wanted to say that his expectation was not unreasonable and I had no qualms with that. I was just trying to say I was not quite ready for sex.
Again - was that me rejecting him? his advances? Trying to lighten the mood a little and to let him know I was interested I sent two explicit photos (nothing that I haven't sent before.) I totally get how that is a complete mixed message. I was never saying no to sex. I wasn't even saying I needed 4 months. We had only been out twice since he got back in touch with me. H3ll I didn't sleep with him the last time until the 4th date. Frankly, if I hadn't felt pressure I may very well have slept with him on the 3rd date but in general I don't have sex until 3 dates. I guess the rules may be different when its someone you dated before???
His response was that he was not interested in a crazy train. I clearly had no problem having sex with him while I was going through a divorce and suddenly I'm not ready for sex. He has a lot on his plate. If someone is interested in him its everything, wild sex and all or not. He is not into games.
Well, I'm not into games either. I was not asking him to wait months... I just wanted another date to get to know him again. But --- was I communicating that properly??? And, yes I'm 100% guilty of sending a mixed message. I will 100% admit I was dealing my insecurities - the D hit hard on my self esteem. I'm soon to be 53 and body image is always a woman's achilie's heel.
I feel that if we just talked - rather than I text... then he texts the next day... and then its 24hr before I text back, that this could have been resolved in a 5min conversation. I really like him... I was attracted to him a year ago and I'm attracted to him now.
Instead I have to accept that I may not hear from him again.
