We did not split contents of house. We discussed who wanted what and that was that. Pretty much total agreement on that score. We were both horrified to hear from our mediator that all jewelry in our state was considered a marital asset to be split. Neither of us thought that was kind, or fair, so we left that as is, with me. I didn't try to grab 1/2 the dollar amount of his first edition collection (gifts from his mother), nor did I try to grab 1/2 the dollar value of his extremely expensive guitar collection. Nor did he try to grab 1/2 the dollar value of the antiques which were my grandmother's and parents'. Every situation is different, so, if your attorney agrees that the contents should be appraised, then do so. Who chooses the appraiser? Who recommends the appraiser? Beware anyone H/his lawyers puts forth as a recommendation.

Insurance is a big deal. Have it written into your agreement that he has to cover your insurance for the maximum amount of time. I got dumped when exh re-married, although he could have chosen to carry me (I think) beyond that, but maybe not. It's an expense you don't need right now.

Spousal support/alimony: get it in writing that when unemployment runs out, the amount changes. Get it in writing that any change in income means a re-visit. You are in a long term marriage. You are entitled to quite a bit of alimony.

Filing jointly for 2021... check with your ACCOUNTANT, not lawyer, then proceed.

Easy enough to have him prove his expenses.

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Stella, here's the thing: do not take any negotiations personally. This is the business side of things. This is where you'll find out if h's lawyer is a $h!t-stirrer or not. This is where you'll find out same about your lawyer. Yes, lawyers sometimes make more misery to get a bigger $ amount for themselves. Be aware.

Put your business self on front and center. You can fall apart when you aren't in negotiation mode. This is crucial to your future and your survival, so treat it like the break up of a company rather than the emotional break up of your family.. Put those emotions aside, deal with the business side, then when you're done, allow yourself to feel the emotions again. Trust me on this. It's vital.

What would you say if your best friend was going through this, and this was what her h put forth?

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver