Personal items, like gifts would not be considered marital assets. However, furniture, appliances, etc would be (IMO). Jewelry, fake or real, might be considered your’s, unless it’s an investment. Likewise sports memorabilia could be considered H’s.
If you are keeping the house, perhaps letting H keep his memorabilia for the household furnishings would be a good exchange. I don’t think you are too attached to the sports stuff, and you’d save the time, hassle, and cost of an appraiser.
Do you two have an agreed upon value of the house?
If this were for me, I’d like to see a defined time line for maintaining insurance. For example, I maintained insurance coverage for XW for two years. The maximum limit. I could have cancelled it at any time given the way things went down; it didn’t cost me any extra to maintain so why would I. There was no ruling that I had to maintain her insurance, yet I did. H may not be so generous, or could find a weird loophole, best to get it in writing.
Filing joint 2021 taxes might be ok. My first thought - which is basically a hunch since I really do not know much other than H makes 5 or 6 times what you made and you were laid off - is to not agree to joint filing. That is more advantageous for H than you. Again, this could be a leverage point though for acquiring something you are seeking.
H has shown you some of what he values. Not surprisingly it is money. Doesn’t sound like he is much interested in any of the physical stuff / items. You can use this knowledge to grease the wheels and finesse a negotiated settlement. A word of advice, let H think whatever is being proposed is his idea. MLCers are pretty flaky and forgetful, however things that they feel they want have a better likelihood of them following through on. Finesse not force usually yields better negotiating.
The calculations for alimony sound incorrect. Although I do not know your locale’s rules and guidelines. However, if you and H come to a signed compromise the courts will likely accept it. So be careful, and listen to your L. That being said, my concern is the reduction based upon your unemployment compensation. It does not take into account that the compensation is ending right away.
Alimony is easily calculated. There are pretty straightforward formulas for it. From my research and situation, alimony is based upon gross salary(s), not net. Net is such a vague and possible to skew metric for such a calculation. H’s investments could be considered to come off then the net is what you get half of. Better look at this carefully.
Have your L tell you what you are untitled to. See if it is close to what H is offering. I’d suspect it’s not. Perhaps counter offer taking a lump sum payment instead of monthly alimony (if you want). Often, especially if you leave his pension alone, the breadwinner will pay upfront rather than losing pension (which is actually time and mean having to work longer) and having a monthly payment for years and years. In your current situation with no income this could work well for you. Get your monies upfront, be uncoupled, and any future job / income would not reduce alimony. Likewise any increases on H’s salary will not increase your alimony; but H is likely to get worse before getting better, and his salary could easy change for the worse.
Just a few thoughts. For what they are worth. You know you situation best. Arrange an appointment and speak to your L and bring a written list of your questions.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
