Hang in there. None of this is easy. It is so hard knowing that none of it is in your control and it’s very stressful to have to deal with his crazy because of the family connections. It is in some ways impossible to go no contact completely when you have the family in the mix (including shared children).
You mentioned that all of this is sort of a repeat of a year ago. How long did any of it drag on that time? What type of results came from it? What was the worst that can happen this time and once you think about that, what parts of those scenarios can you manage? What good can come of it if any, for you or your kids? How might you deal with something you expect to happen?
When I am feeling very anxious, I try to imagine the worst case scenarios and then come up with ways that I would deal with those scenarios. I usually find that even if the scenarios are generally bad, usually, they are not as bad as I imagine them to be…that there is always something there that will make it easier/better/not the end of the world. I know it’s still hard to do this. I still struggle. But I have to admit that imagining how I will deal with something makes it a lot less scary. There might be some positive things that could happen. Thinking about these scenarios and what how they might affect you are also worth doing. Like maybe he won’t be bothering to try to stay at your place anymore (making NC might get easier), or he might get himself in a more stable place and act better towards the kids, or other such things. It’s hard for me to guess in your situation.
Anyway, I hope this suggestion at the very least helps you feel less anxious or stressed about it.
((Eagle))
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
