In all of this situation you can control only one thing - you. You cannot control H. Be it alcoholism, be it MLC, be it both; you cannot control nor fix it/him. For you did not break him.
You control you. Be compassionate. Be fierce and fearless in that pursuit. (I do love the fortitude that brings.) Compassion has a component of indifference and boundaries to it. It absolutely requires those components, else wise one gets dragged into the mire.
Accountability still exists and can be enforced and maintained. That does become tempered with culpable and non-culpable, and still held accountable though.
Compassion, validation, acceptance, forgiveness, and such is not a free pass for H. They are your tenets of life; one’s you are strengthening and crafting. Build strong and well. For you only control you.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
