Hi Stella, I haven't posted on the boards here in a very long time and I am shocked that I can actually get in to post. I long ago thought my password or account had been dropped. I have tried off and on over the years to log in but never could. Tonight for some reason I tried a password version and it worked! I am so glad it did.
You have been getting great advice from people who have been around the block. I have a few things to add. First of all, I understand how awful it is. You would not wish the pain on your worst enemy. The depression, the sadness, being barely able to function... wanting to reach out and knowing it won't help... So hang in there. It will get better. It may take a long time I am sorry to say. So you really need to take care of yourself in every single way you can.
I haven't seen anyone yet recommend the book The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. I found it very helpful. I do think it was from that book that I learned there is a physiological connection between spouses that is broken when one leaves the other in addition to the emotional connection. This is part of why we want to reach out and reclaim that connection.
Only it's not possible because your husband is not thinking like you. He is not at all on the same wavelength. You could talk to him all day and he will never come back to the same planet. He is in a different universe.
What my mother told me was "you have to face it". So I did. I hope this might help you--Oh one more thing! The post it notes around my house, on mirrors, on the fridge, anywhere I could put them said Trust Yourself. Simple. Meaningful. True.
Didn't know about that book. I've ordered it and it will arrive next week. THANK YOU
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
