First is the Buddhist concept - all suffering comes from desire. Once you let go of wanting what you can't have right now, the better you'll feel.
The second: "Let go or be dragged". Once I ACCEPTED what was happening, I stopped suffering. I was able to look forward to the new life I was creating for myself, explore ways to change and improve myself, etc etc.
None of this is to say that he won't come back at some point - he may. But clinging to that hope right now just hurts you. Create a wonderful new life for yourself, and if he's destined to come back, he will find you in that great new life. And you can decide then whether you want him back or not.
The crucible of this change will make you stronger, and enable you to change in wonderful ways if you let it. It made me fearless - after all, the worst had happened, the thing I had fought against and feared for so long. And I survived it. By comparison, nothing else was scary. Learn to play the drums and other percussion in my 50's, and get up and perform in front of several thousand people? No problem! Have a new boyfriend break up with me? Small potatoes! Really, I feel like almost nothing can hurt me after that.
